Friday, November 27, 2009

Fatal Attraction Wannabe

A couple nights ago, my boyfriend and I decided to watch Obsessed, starring none other than Beyoncé, because there was nothing else on TV, and we were hopeful. Hopeful it wouldn't suck. Why do we even have expectations? They only lead to disappointment. This was a half-assed attempt as some Fatal Attraction-esque  story, only much, much worse. It was painful, and yet I couldn't stop watching, I couldn't give up. I had unwavering faith that at some point, it had to get better. It didn't. And if you've seen the original Fatal Attraction, it will hurt even more.

I don't know why others try. Adrian Lynne nailed it. In 1987. It doesn't get any better than a psychotic Glenn Close, and Michael Douglas shitting himself over his indiscretion with a total whack job. It truly is a thing of beauty. So why do others even attempt a run at it? It's been done. To perfection.  

It pains me to say this because I think Beyoncé is an incredibly talented performer. But.... she should not act. She cannot act. Kinda like Madonna. Kick-ass performer, terrible actress. Oh Beyoncé, you tried, you really did but acting isn't for you. Please don't do it again. Stick to what you do best because you're so good at it. You shine. 

The would-be home wrecker in Obsessed doesn't even get it on with Beyoncé's on-screen husband. She tries, repeatedly, and fails. So you really can't buy into her crazy. There's no sympathy for her. She's just a nut job for no reason. Not that I'm justifying Glenn Close's crazy but at least the viewer could sympathize with her, however briefly, since the character she portrayed actually had steamy, consensual encounters with the philandering husband. And she can act. 

Filmmakers seem to have forgotten that actors really do need to know how to act. These days, if you're a celebrity, for whatever reason, they'll put you in front of a camera. Nuh-uh. Doesn't work. Fame won't save a crappy ass movie. And it didn't save Obsessed. The only redeeming part of this film was the chick-on-chick smack down at the end. Beyoncé pissed off and kicking some bony white bitch's ass - now that was entertaining.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Lindsay Lohan = artistic armageddon

What is with celebs deluding themselves into thinking they are fashion designers? Why do so many of them want to throw themselves into the fashion industry with no appropriate education, experience or talent? It's not like they shop for their own clothes - they have stylists for that. So really, just because a celebrity looks good, doesn't mean they have good taste. Their staff has good taste. So why do they think they can design clothes? 

Case in point: Lindsay Lohan will remain "artistic advisor" at Ungaro. Are you f*cking kidding me? How did she get to be "artistic" anything to anyone in the fashion biz? According to, her first collection was "a disaster". Duh. Did you expect anything more? That's what you deserve for hiring a fame whoring coke head as your "artistic advisor".  The fashion label's President and Chief Executive simply called the criticism "harsh", adding that it's selling well. Of course, he didn't comment on the founder's views of Ungaro's "new direction" which evidently differ from his own. 

Who did Lindsay blow to get this gig anyway? I mean, really. Does Ungaro have a death wish? Fashion fatality... Loss by Lohan...  Whatever Lindsay is churning out onto the runways is not fashion. It's her foggy, coke-induced perception of what she thinks is stylish. She is by no means a fashion icon, and her style choices are underwhelming, to say the least. Stick to what you know Lindsay: drugs and delusions of grandeur.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Musings on books becoming movies

Over the weekend, I saw two movies which were adapted from books: The Twilight Saga: New Moon and My Sister's Keeper. My conclusions: 1) the Twilight saga does not translate well on the big screen, and 2) the screenwriters royally screwed up trying to adapt My Sister's Keeper, i.e. changing the ending!!! WTF!!!

Up first: The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Once again, this movie confirms that Kristen Stewart cannot act worth shit. She was the worst part of this movie. She played the exact same character in Adventureland. I mean, the EXACT SAME CHARACTER. Same lame ass mannerisms and all. It's gag worthy. I don't understand all the hoopla around this girl. She sucks. 

Anna Kendrick, on the other hand, was in the movie for all of 30 seconds, and I remember her. She is seared into my brain. Anna is a scene-stealer, and she's so good at it. I still remember her from the first Twilight movie. She was one of, if not the, best part of the movie. Can't wait to see her in Up in the Air opposite George Clooney. Early reviews say she's AMAZING. Translation: Oscar-worthy.

On another note, Robert Pattinson is so last year. Taylor Lautner, shirtless - YES.  This works. Although, I have to hand it to both boys, their acting didn't suck as much as Kristen's. She was the weak link in this film. Which is too bad seeing as she plays the title character. Even Rachelle Lefebvre, who didn't speak a word, was more memorable than Kristen. And sadly, Rachelle will not be returning to play Victoria, an evil vampire out to get Bella, due to "scheduling conflicts" or so says Summit Entertainment. Whatever. I don't buy it and I'm still bitter about it.

Next up: My Sister's Keeper. I read the book. The book was good. The movie, on the other hand, was crappy, schleppy, Hollywood sentimentality with a wimpy-ass ending. Why does Hollywood always go with the unimaginative, obvious ending? And  why didn't the book's author protest?  This change did not make her original story better, it made it far worse. The original ending was not predictable and was painfully bittersweet. Yes, someone dies. But it's not who you think, hence the beauty of it.

The bright spot in this movie is Sofia Vassilieva, who plays the cancer-stricken Kate. She is believable and, at times, heartbreaking. Joan Cusack also aptly portrays the judge presiding over Anna's case. Love her.

My boyfriend thought Cameron Diaz was terribly miscast in this film. I tend to agree. As he said, she's too recognizable. You can't forget she's Cameron Diaz. It works in Charlie's Angels but not in this movie. I don't buy Cameron as a mother of three desperately trying to keep her terminally ill daughter alive. Also, the lawyer's story (Alec Baldwin's character) was barely touched. This movie needed more Alec. All in all, a terrible disappointment. 

Some books shouldn't become movies. Twilight is not Harry Potter

Jeremy Leven and Nick Cassavetes, who adapted My Sister's Keeper for the big screen, shouldn't be allowed to work in Hollywood for at least a year, maybe two. That's how long it will take me to recover from their mess of a movie.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Kate Moss' Misstep

It seems eating disorder experts are peeved at Kate Moss for citing as one of her mottos: “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”, a quote that appears on websites encouraging girls to starve themselves. Click here for the full story. 

I'm sorry but skinny's got nothin' on food. Do you know a hungry model who's ever in a good mood? Or sober? They need the drugs and alcohol to either suppress their appetite or make them forget they have one.

Kate's PR machine is saying the quote was taken out of context. You'd think they could come up with something a little more imaginative. That is so cliché. We all know the soft underbelly of the modeling world is riddled with eating disorder and addiction roadkill. But the industry will never admit to that. 

This is old news, but deserves to be mentioned - there is a modicum of hope as some governments have imposed regulations regarding Body Mass Index (BMI) minimums. Thank you Spain for taking charge and displaying some kind of sanity. 

I could go on some feminist rant about the fashion industry and its impossible standards, about how scores of young girls and even grown women die each year trying to achieve some heavily Photoshopped "ideal". But it's already been said. Besides, being a fashion model can't be any fun. Having to  constantly obsess about your looks and body weight? Please. I'd rather scarf down a big, fat, greasy burger and a cold beer. Now that is pure joy.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Levi's GQ bungle and Posh's clever wordplay

It's not everyday you find gems like these, when the faux celebrity is treated as such. Poor, poor Levi. Ignored at a celebrity-infested party. Flying first class and calling himself "Ricky Hollywood"? An entourage consisting of Tank, his manager, and some other beefcake wearing an earpiece? WTF? Is this guy for real? I guess this is part of Levi's grand plan to pursue modeling/acting to support his young child. People like this, I just want to slap them. It awakens the crazy in me, stupid does.

The other disturbing element in this article is that, in the last paragraph,  Lindsay Lohan is included in a list of legitimate celebs. Please. She barely qualifies.

It must be my lucky day because not only did I find one gem but two. Victoria Beckham claiming she prefers sex over sleep? My ass. Look at the wording carefully. She states: "I'm getting into bed with David Beckham every night, so, you know, there'd be something wrong if I said, 'sleep,'". Translation: " I actually prefer sleep but because I'm so incredibly vain and really care about what people think of me, I'm going to go with the safe answer." 

She even felt the need to justify her skin colour. The best line: "I don't self-tan anymore." So which is it? Your skin colour is naturally dark or you spend a lot of time artificially darkening it? Whether it's self-tanner or the L.A. sun is irrelevant. Although, I can't picture Posh spending hours in the sun tanning since everyone knows that contributes to premature aging. Rest assured, Posh is aware of this and it's the last thing she wants. So if her skin is naturally dark, then why not just say so? Because it's probably not the case and Posh can't own up to the fact that she still fake tans.

Conclusion: you can't really believe anything Posh says. She's trying to appear "normal" for the masses, and in doing so, comes off as an overly-obsessive weirdo. She doesn't eat hamburgers either. Looking at her stick figure, I believe her. But you know she wants to, real bad. And she'll never admit to that either.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Johnny Depp, Twilophiles and Katie's Sense of Style

Everyone's talking about it. Johnny Depp is People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, and joins Brad Pitt and George Clooney as the only ones to have been bestowed the honor twice. Apparently, Twilight fans are beside themselves that Robert Pattinson lost out to Johnny. Time to get real Twilophiles. Taylor Lautner is already overtaking Robert as the Twilight Saga Sex Symbol. Lainey's right. Let's see if Robbie can open a hit non Twilight-related movie. He's untested waters, and grungy in a "Did you take a shower this week?" kinda way. Not good.

Johnny, he just gets better with age. We know he has "it", that "je ne sais quoi". Johnny is a movie star, an actual celebrity, who has earned his way into our collective consciousness. People at People, sometimes you surprise me. Today, I didn't want to gag when perusing your website.

I read all four Twilight books, and plan to see all the movies, if only as a kind of reward for having survived reading Stephenie Meyer's drivel. I don't really expect much from the movie versions since, let's face it, they didn't have much to work with in the first place, but I can tolerate watching Taylor Lautner parade around shirtless. These are the kinds of sacrifices I'm willing to make to try and understand the Twilophiles and the crazy that motivates them, an anthropological study of sorts.

On another note, I couldn't resist sharing this with you. Make sure you scroll down to the photos and check out the white pantsuit disaster. Holy f*ck, it's bad. It's so, so bad. Katie Holmes MUST STOP designing clothes. Doesn't anyone in her close-knit circle of Scientology chaperones have the heart to tell her she blows at fashion design? Sweet Mother of God, you'd think Tom Cruise's vanity would kick in and prevent Katie from displaying such a lack of taste. I'm embarrassed for her. Also relishing in it, of course, because Katie is a faux celebrity, so shame on her for riding on Tom's coattails, and pretending to be a fashion designer. She  also pretended to be a dancer on SYTYCD. Remember that? I try not to. It still hurts.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The crack-cocaine of TV shows, i.e., highly addictive shit

"Workin' on my night cheese" sung to the tune of Bob Seger's "Night Moves" by none other than Liz Lemon, Tina Fey's alter ego on 30 Rock. There she was, in her Slanket, workin' on her night cheese (literally eating her way through a block of cheese). I laughed out loud. My boyfriend had missed that part, so we watched it again. It was even funnier the second time around. Tina Fey, you rock my world. 

Also of note, a new episode of Dexter on Sunday night and Californication last night. John Lithgow plays the villain in Dexter's fourth season. Who else could be more perfect than Lithgow? Maybe Christopher Walken. But I digress. As soon as I found out John Lithgow was the new baddy, I knew. It would be f*cking creepy. Not unlike the first three seasons. 

And I must say, I am continually impressed with David Duchovny in Californication. Sure, it's soft porn but the writing is to die for, and the delivery is bang on. (No pun intended.) Who knew Fox Mulder had it in him? Of course, David did end up developing a real-life sex addiction. Oh, the irony. At least the writing saves Californication from being mere gratuitous smut.   

That I have an alternative to "regular" TV makes my life. Six Feet Under is now available on the Movie Network On Demand. Loved that show the first time around. Am watching it all over again. Was reminded of when I first saw Michael C. Hall as the stuck-up, gay funeral director. Now I know him as the somewhat ethical serial killer. 

I also recently started watching the Unites States of Tara, starring Toni Collette. Love her. She totally shines in this. Interesting premise: a family living with a wife/mother who has dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder). So she's mom and wife one minute, and one of three other, completely different people the next. 

Created by Diablo Cody who penned Juno. I'm so jealous. That bitch can't even be thirty yet. And look at her. F*cking brilliant. Want to be like her. Am working on a fourth draft of my latest play. Someday...

Monday, November 16, 2009

Singer/actress or talentless fame whore?

As if it wasn't bad enough that they resurrected Melrose Place, the TV powers-that-be actually hired Ashlee Simpson-Wentz for a 12-episode stint. She has consequently been fired for lack of talent. In Touch calls it "the beginning of the end of her career." What career, pray tell, would you be referring to? Who is this Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, and why should I care? Oh, you mean the one who's only claim to fame is that Jessica Simpson is her sister? And the one who's lip-syncing disaster on SNL exposed her for the talentless fraud that she is? And the one who named her kid Mowgli?

Who is this useless twat, and why is she taking up space in ANY celeb mag? That she would actually want to associate herself with the Jessica Simpson legacy is an indication of this girl's intelligence. She's done absolutely nothing that's been even remotely close to noteworthy. She's a terrible actress. Her latest album Bittersweet World apparently sucked ass.

You'd think there would be some effort required to become famous, some talent or extraordinary skill needed. Evidently, this is not the case. It seems there are more and more of these faux celebrities, and less and less real ones filling the pages of gossip rags and websites. There should be some kind of minimum requirement to make it into the collective consciousness. That way, we could mitigate the amount of useless garbage filling up our psyches. Sure, we could still talk trash about those "famous" people, but at least they would have earned their spot in our musings.

I think Tom Cruise is a little deranged. Ok, maybe a lot. However, I cannot deny that Tom is a movie star, and can therefore tolerate his presence in my immediate media surroundings.  I also LOVED his performances in Jerry Maguire and Tropic Thunder. Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, on the other hand, needs to be flushed out with all the other fame whore turds clogging up our limited attention spans.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Two fame whores do not make a right didn't make me want to gag today, but it was a close call. Case in point: an article titled Levi Johnston calls Jon Gosselin a 'Good Guy'. Now there's a solid character reference. In case you're wondering who these people are and why we should care: Levi Johnston is Bristol Palin's baby daddy (Bristol Palin = Sarah Palin's daughter) and Jon Gosselin is the father of eight children from Jon and Kate Plus 8 fame. The two met in New York, I'm guessing under dubious circumstances. Apparently, Jon offered Levi some parenting advice. Ahem.

Johnston was quoted while attending the "sex-oriented Fleshbot Awards in New York City". Sometimes they just make it too easy... Oh people at People, you're so good at glossing over the obvious, at feigning complete ignorance of the harsh facts. 

Fact #1: Levi Johnston will be posing nude in Playgirl, and cites this as a source of income to support his child. He also doesn't plan on going to college. Instead, he will pursue modeling and acting. (Insert snide remark of your choice here.)

Fact #2: Jon Gosselin wasted no time hooking up with a 22-year-old, and hosting Vegas pool parties once his marriage was over. 

Fact #3: Both these men are shameless fame whores, prostitutes, if you will. Levi will be gladly displaying his family jewels for all to see, and Jon basically sold his family to TLC. 

Fact #4: These are not people who should be dishing out parenting advice. 

Fact #5: These are not people who should be taking up space on celebrity gossip websites. 

They are not celebrities. They are fame whores. There is a difference.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Hey Lindsay, shape up or ship out!

According to "The fight to save Lindsay Lohan continues." There's a fight to save Lindsay Lohan? Why? Apparently, she was having a secret affair with Heath Ledger when he died, and this precipitated her downward spiral. Heath slumming with the likes of coked up, has been Lohan? Not bloody likely.

No offense but if Lindsay wants to self destruct, let her. I know, I know. How could I be so cold and callous? So devoid of feeling? Well, I'll tell you why. Because I'm sick of hearing about this dysfunctional, drug addicted, useless twat. That's why. I have no sympathy left for this girl. She's sucked it dry. And she wonders why her career is in the toilet? 

Hey Lindsay, time to get off the victim train. You have a drug problem? Go to rehab. You have issues with your parents? Go to therapy. You are not the only kid in the world with a dysfunctional family. Look around. How many "functional" families do you know? And yet, we're not all flailing about, spewing our "Woe is me" story to anyone who will listen. 

You're old news Lindsay. If you want to make a comeback, and be taken seriously, you need to grab the bull by the horns and take responsibility for your life. Stop blaming your parents. You're not five. You're an adult, and you can make your own decisions. If your parents want to air their dirty laundry in the public eye, let them. It's their shit, not yours. Don't get involved. They're the ones who'll look like assholes, not you. 

Reclaim your power - stop giving it away to others thinking they will be able to "save" you. Only you can save you. I'm an optimist Lindsay. I believe in second chances. I believe in you. Get your shit together. Lay low for a while. Maybe take an acting class or two. Reinvent yourself. Do it now, because that window of opportunity is closing fast. And whatever you did to your face - i.e., those fake, swollen lips - don't do it again, unless you want to become a porn star. 

Monday, November 9, 2009

Today's true confessions: brand slutting

We were at a L'Oréal warehouse sale in Montreal this past weekend when it hit me... again.  (It's hit me before when a confluence of specific shopping conditions occurred.) I'm a brand name slut. I didn't buy anything at this warehouse sale. That in itself is practically a sin. I wear makeup maybe twice a year so it wasn't entirely unreasonable to not buy any at this sale. Except lip gloss. I wear lip gloss almost every day. I briefly scanned the heavily discounted lip-primping products but then promptly turned my attention elsewhere. Even if I did want lip gloss, it would have to be M·A·C lip gloss. That's all I wear.

Then there were the shampoos and conditioners being sold by the box load. My boyfriend asked me if we should take advantage of the bargain basement pricing. My response? They don't have "our kind" here. "Our kind" smells like coconut, like a beach holiday in a bottle. I don't know if any of these smell like that. No, we will have to pay full price and stick to "our kind".

I am a marketer's dream. My yoga gear is now exclusively Lululemon. If I'm shopping at Winners, I'll scour the aisles for clothing and accessories with a brand name logo that's clearly visible, 'cause I can get them for half the price. I go really ape shit if I find brand name clothing at Value Village or some other thrift store. Then I can get the stuff for 5-6 bucks. It's almost as good as a brick of brie cheese to a former dairy addict who was forced to change her ways due to allergies. But I digress.

Back in the day, I used to think I was all anti-establishment. I even submitted an article to Adbusters on the very subject of branding and how TV sells us the image of a brand, and then we want it. Who ever heard of Manolo Blahnik shoes until Sex and the City came along? You know it's true. I still want a pair of Manolo Mary Janes. And if I ever find them, I will buy them. Even if the cost equates with one month's mortgage payment. I just HAD to have a photo taken of me in front of the Madison Ave. Jimmy Choo store in NYC, and a few years later, with an actual Jimmy Choo shoe in Las Vegas. I am a shameless brand slut.

Of course, every brand whore has a deep, dark retail secret. I bought a pair of generic track pants for 10 bucks at Wal-Mart, and I LOVE THEM. This concludes today's True Confessions. Now go forth, and shop. 

Friday, November 6, 2009

Spiritual Accessories and Stephen Colbert

So I'm watching TV the other night. And I see this commercial, one of those "Call now to receive (fill in the blank)". This one was for some kind of crystal crucifix on a silver chain, and if you looked into the centre of the crucifix, the Lord's Prayer would appear. Obviously Christian. But the best part of this commercial was when they described the jewellery as a great "spiritual accessory". WTF?

I didn't realize my spirituality needed to be accessorized. I was unaware my spirituality was an outfit requiring bling. This commercial was disturbing to say the least, and as such, highly entertaining. When we heard the term "spiritual accessory", my boyfriend and I looked at each other in disbelief, as if to say: "Did they just say what I think they just said?" We're both bitter ex-Catholics so we got a good chuckle out of it. The tragedy is that someone, somewhere, is actually going to buy this product, and wear it to showcase their beliefs. 

Those crazy Christians. I guess since most of their actions don't demonstrate their beliefs, they need to wear stuff that does. 

And now for something completely different...* 

I came across this article in the New York Post online edition today that illustrates the brilliance of Stephen Colbert. Who else would dare put the kybosh on a Springsteen interview? LOVE IT.

* Thank you Monty Python

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Kidman is Kinky

Yowza... Nicole Kidman has a wild side? In an interview with British GQ, Kidman confesses to exploring "strange sexual fetish stuff" among other things. Of course, those other things don't sound nearly as interesting and incendiary as "strange sexual fetish stuff" which is why that particular quote is included in the title of the Huffington Post article that caught my eye. Those media people, they're shifty, and I'm so predictable. They know this and they exploit. Bastards.

I like Nicole. I think she's a talented actress but she always looks like she has a broomstick up her ass. I never thought of her as the type who would wander into the land of "strange sexual fetish stuff". Although, being married to a closeted homosexual for like, a decade, might make you do strange things. So I guess it's not that surprising.

Interestingly, she refuses to discuss her marriage to Tom Cruise, citing "I want to honour that marriage for what it was [...]". Let me fill in the blank: a business deal assuring Tom a bulletproof heterosexual cover. I'm guessing she won't talk about it because she can't, as in the Church of Scientology has forbidden her to say a word about how she and Tom broke up because she didn't want any part of the Cult of Crazy. Have no doubt, she cut some kind of deal with them. They leave her alone, she doesn't out her ex-husband or the inner workings of his "religion". I can't reproach her for that. Just cut your losses and move on.

And move on she did, to become an Oscar-winning movie star. Bravo, Nicole, bravo. Besides, we have Paul Haggis to out the Scientologists. So all is right with the world. And Tom has Katie Stepford Holmes who won't cause any trouble. Isn't it ironic that Nicole Kidman starred in a 2004 remake of the Stepford Wives? A fate she luckily avoided.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Kate Gosselin's attempted pity party

There wasn't much on TV last night, so I ended up watching an interview with Kate Gosselin on TLC. It was titled Kate: Her Story. Yes, it was gag inducing, asinine drivel. Why this John and Kate Gosselin have been cover material on celeb rags for months now is a mystery to me. Who the f*ck are these people, and why are they of such interest?

The best part of the whole thing was the interviewer who pulled no punches. She basically called Kate out for pimping her kids for cash. According to Kate, she had no choice. How would they have provided for the kids with her nursing and John working in IT? She claims it would have been over sooner between her and John without the show because of the stress of providing for such a large brood.

Well, here's a thought: why the f*ck would you have eight kids, not to mention having six of them all at once, if you couldn't support them? When the fertility clinic told you that six  embryos had "taken", you could have said: Hey, I'll keep one, maybe two. You already had twins! Were they not enough? Does this sound callous? Talking about human life like it's a commodity - well you two should know, that's what your family is now, a product for mass consumption. Happy? 

My grandmother had ten kids but not ALL AT ONCE. By today's standards, my grandparents were poor, but somehow managed to raise all ten kids in the absence of an audience.

The interviewer nailed it when she asked Kate how she felt about all the stories being published about her and John and, all teary-eyed, Kate claimed they were "hurtful". The interviewer's response? "Well, you're the one who put your family on TV, so basically it's no one's fault but your own." I'm paraphrasing here but you get the drift. I love it when an interview, such as this one, is free of ass-kissing. 'Cause we all know what the real deal is. Kate even blatantly admitted that the show is now their main source of income. Of course it is. 

This whole Gosselin family debacle is yet another argument against the existence of fertility clinics. It's an aberration of the natural order of things. John and Kate Gosselin are more tabloid worthy these days than Brad and Angelina. Need I say more?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Musings on Musicals

Ok, so... sometimes I may blog on the weekend when it's not possible to fit it in between Monday and Friday which was my initial plan. Ain't life like that, you make a plan and then life happens. Hey, there's a John Lennon song lyric about that very thing.

I don't like musicals. I've stated this before but I'll say it again. Although, I was reminded of a few more exceptions to that rule yesterday. The Rocky Horror Picture Show was on TV last night. Very appropriate seeing as it was Halloween. I was assistant stage manager for a live production of the very same musical. It kicks ass. The music, the sexual deviance, the high camp factor. It's f*cking brilliant as far as musicals go.  The movie looks like it was made for 50 bucks which only adds to its allure, and Tim Curry is utterly sublime as the cross-dressing title character Frankenfurter. Any musical with lyrics like" Touch-a-touch-a-touch-a-touch me, I want to be dirty" is a winner in my book. 

I was also reminded of another musical which doesn't really qualify as a musical but more of a rock opera - The Who's Tommy. I was stage manager for a production of this show. Sensing a theme? Not to worry, I was also stage manager for a production of Grease, and I still don't like it. But I digress. Tommy kicks some serious ass. We also noticed during the production I worked on that there is no spoken dialogue in Tommy - it's just one awesome, rockin' song after another, telling a great story with zero cheese factor. Love it. 

I would also be remiss if I didn't add to my "List of musicals that don't suck" the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode in Season 6. DAMN. Joss Whedon, holy f*ck. You are brilliant. This episode pushed the storyline of Season 6 into the stratosphere, and brought  unspoken emotions and personal torment into the light of day, or should I say into the light of song. Again, conveying meaningful emotion without the cheese factor. Camp, yes. Cheese, no. I approve.  

If it turns out I'm actually harboring a love of musicals in some deep recess of my mind, and this post is just a big ol' Freudian slip, I may have to kill myself. 


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