I've been avoiding it for a little over two years now, basically since I started my blog. Sure, I noticed everyone else was doing it but it didn't feel right to me, not yet anyway.
But, sure enough, the time came, and like a teen girl wanting to shed her virginal status, I said yes. Still somewhat unsure, but convinced it was the next logical step in building my social media empire, I dove in. I'm now on Twitter.
I signed up, opened my account, and immediately started following people, as I was prompted to do by the friendly Twitter website. As with all social media, once you're in, a whole new world opens up. Of course, it didn't end there. I had to install a Twitter "follow" button on my blog, and get the mobile phone app as well.
I must admit, it's still a bit overwhelming considering I'm now on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, and have a few e-mail accounts to manage as well. Sometimes I feel like my head's going to explode. Too... much... information.
Soon after joining Twitter, I discovered Twitter spam. A few hours after opening my account, I was notified I had two followers. Holy shit! Already! I am awesome! I soon discovered that my new followers had websites such as "oralsexpics.com", "xxx-vids.com", and "cumsalotinyourface.net". Somewhat deflated, I promptly blocked them.
Of course. I mean, how can any legit followers find you instantly after joining? A lot of it is still a mystery to me but I get the basic concept. Regale your followers with witty 140-characters or less observations.
The irony is that, the more information I open myself up to, the more I feel paralyzed by the sheer volume of what's going on out there. It's like being everywhere, all at once. I wonder if that's what the inside of a mind reader's head feels like. That is some crazy shit.
I also have feelings akin to being back in the schoolyard, hoping to get picked for a game of dodgeball. Pick me! Pick me! Please, please, pretty please! Only the words have changed to: follow me! Follow me! Please, please, pretty please! (DO IT.) Sorry, what? Subliminal messaging? No, I don't believe in that.
Anyhoo, so far I'm an awful tweeter. I've tweeted three times in the last seven days. I know, it's abhorrent. I'm still wrapping my head around the concept of sharing all the time.
Generally speaking, I don't like people, and I'll only socialize in very small doses. On the other hand, I'm a writer, and I desperately want people to love me. (LOVE ME.) Oops, I did it again.
Contradictory statements? Yes. I'm an artist. What do you expect?
** This whole post is a subliminal message... I just blew your mind, didn't I.