The resurrection begins...

I was primed this morning. Opened up the CNN live feed and put on the headphones, waiting, at attention. Then, as the guest of honor walked up to the podium, I watched and listened intently, hanging on every word, every pregnant pause, every attempt to show emotion.

I've got to hand it to Tiger Woods and his team, they are PR masters. By the time he was hugging his mom, I was almost in tears. Mama looked mad during her son's mea culpa. You know she read him the riot act.

I had to watch the whole thing again. Brilliantly executed. Kudos to Tiggy for facing the music, even though it's been a long three months since we've heard from him. It's hard to reproach someone who, seemingly, is trying to come clean and start over.

However, when it comes to Tiger Woods, I can never be fully convinced of anything. As one media pundit stated regarding the banning of questions following his statement: "not even the President gets that". This was a tightly managed affair, à la CIA covert ops.

Following his statement was a reaction from one of his mistresses, Veronica Siwik-Daniels, a former porn star. Her main criticism was that she received no apology. Upon listening to Tiggy's statement a second time, I did notice the mistresses were notably absent from the list of those he rimed off to whom he wanted to apologize.

But it's difficult to sympathize with the mistresses. I mean, come on. You're dating a married man. He's already lying to someone to be with you. And you're pissed off he didn't tell you about his other mistresses? You thought you were the only one? Apart from his wife, that is. Please.

This girl apologized for her role in the scandal and stated that she didn't mean to cause any pain to Elin and the kids. To which I say: bullshit. You knew he was married. You knew he had kids. 

She was actually sloughing off some of the blame onto Tiger because he pursued her. Honey, don't pull that shit. He was MARRIED. When a married guy is trying to get into your pants, walk away. Shut that nasty business down.

She then goes on to say how she fell in love with him and that we can't help who we fall in love with. That may be true but we can help who we f*ck. No one forced her to remove her clothing and have sex with Tiger. I'm assuming that's the case since no one's charged Tiggy with rape. 

At this point, only time will tell if Tiggy changes his ways and becomes a better man. If there's anyone we should feel sympathy for, it's his wife Elin and his two children. Elin, for being the unknowing victim of deception, and the children, whose legacy is now marred by their father's indiscretions. 

Tiger-mania broadens as list of mistresses grows

I can't stop thinking about it. It's been on the front page of the newspaper for days. I can't get away from it. And it's only growing bigger and badder. I want to blog about other stuff but this is in the forefront of my psyche and won't go away. Oprah once called him her SON for Christ's sake. I understand if you're getting bored with my Tiggy-mania and wish I would talk about something else. I will, eventually. But not today.

This morning's headlines indicated that Tiggy's brood of alleged mistresses has grown to ten women, one of them a porn star, and another who has publicly stated that Tiggy is very well endowed. His wife has apparently moved out of their home in Florida. His mother-in-law was rushed to the hospital with "stomach pains", i.e., the stress is getting to her.

A few days ago, this was a bit of a PR mess. This is now an all-out PR debacle - "What we have here is a failure to communicate." Tiggy, get your ass out of the woods (no pun intended). Face the music or this will not go away, at least not any time soon. There will be continuing speculation and public confessions from your alleged bevy of lady friends. 

This is getting ugly - very, very ugly. Where is your slick PR machine when you need it the most? Time to do some damage control or continue to watch your life spin out of control. And dammit, I'm tired of waking up every morning to a "new development" in the Tiger Woods scandal. You're starting to take up way too much space on the celeb gossip circuit. Don't become the next Jon and Kate Gosselin. You're better than that.

Tiggy's Mistress Loony Over Lascivious Behaviour

People at People, you make my life. Alleged Tiger Mistress Angry About His Other Women. Wow. You're sleeping with a married guy and you're pissed off that he was cheating with not only you but a few others as well? I know what you're all thinking my Sassies. How much of a dumbass can you be? 

Best quote ever: "She (Rachel Uchitel) started out for sport and then they clicked." Referring to her and Tiger Woods, of course. She started out for sport? SPORT? Well, I guess birds of a feather flock together. You know, she's an athlete, and her sport is men. Tiggy's an athlete, and his sport is golf. So they probably had a lot in common. 

I was reading up on Tiggy's situation over the weekend. It's not pretty. Tiggy's a bit of a slut. You know, all that pressure of being the richest athlete EVER. He needed to blow off some steam, get naked with some chicks, and frolick about. I mean, what is so wrong with that? 

I'll tell you what's wrong with that - if you're gonna f*ck around, why even bother getting married? Stay single. F*ck around all you want. Don't lie. Don't deceive. That's for cowards. Be a f*cking man. This mistress bullshit, Tiggy, it's beneath you.

I guess one interesting question comes out of this, and it's a great line I heard in the movie Funny People over the weekend, which lends itself perfectly to this situation: "It's easy not to cheat when no one wants to f*ck you." Good point. But what does it say about us when temptation comes knocking, and we instantly give in?

Pretty won't save you from cheatin' hearts

In my teens, I struggled with body image issues. I thought my nose was too big, my boobs weren't perky enough, and that I should be much skinnier, like the models in magazines. I thought being physically flawless = being loved. As I have often learned, this is not so. I've been reminded of this once more in the midst of this Tiger Woods debacle. His wife is stunning - a gorgeous Swedish former bikini model. And yet, he still strayed. 

I thought Jennifer Aniston was pretty close to physically perfect. Then Brad strayed too. 

Time and again it dawns on me - looks aren't everything. I mean, don't get me wrong. I know we are an incredibly vain society, and looks are a big chunk of the equation. But, evidently, they don't guarantee love or fidelity. Of course, these beautiful women may be totally crazy behind closed doors (I suspect Angelina has a touch of the crazy) which makes them intolerable to live with. Who knows. 

I'm reminded of a French film I once saw. I forget the title but it starred Gérard Dépardieu. He was married to a bombshell who was totally frigid, and having an affair with his very average looking secretary who happened to be an incredible lover because she was warm and uninhibited. The lesson here? Pretty wears off. Personality doesn't.

Apparently, Tiggy and his Swedish babe are holed up in their Orlando mansion undergoing intense couples' counseling. I guess being rich and pretty doesn't insulate you from the crappy stuff in life. If Jennifer Aniston can become "the lonely girl", anything is possible. 

It's kind of freeing really. We could learn a lesson from this and ease up on our vanity. I've found that people who simply embrace who they are, no matter what, are much more interesting, and naturally put everyone else at ease. Those who are incredibly beautiful usually tend to be incredibly vain, and are constantly worrying about how they look. Yawn. Can you imagine hanging out with someone like that? Think Mena Suvari in American Beauty.

Being perfect is a pain. Being imperfect is limitless.