Just when I think I'm evolving, something happens to remind me that I'm still a whoring consumer slut. Last Saturday, my boyfriend innocently asked me to join him on a little shopping trip to an outdoor store since he was looking for a new polar fleece vest. I, of course, thought this might be fun and agreed to join him. However, a red light went off deep in the recesses of my subconscious. Danger, Will Robinson!
You see, it's very rare that I can walk into a store and not find something I want to buy, even when I blatantly cannot afford it. But I thought to myself: "What's the harm? I'm sure it'll be fine." despite my instincts telling me otherwise.
So, we headed out to our neighbourhood big box, mega outdoor store. Got through the entrance displays without too much trouble. Looking at hats, good. Boyfriend found one he likes. Excellent. You know, I do need another head bandeau thingy to cover my ears because the one I have is kind of ill-fitting. This one is nice, and it's only $5.99! I can afford that. Done.
So there we were, my boyfriend with his hat, and I with my bandeau, looking for a polar fleece vest. Much to our dismay, they apparently don't make them anymore. So, we started to make our way towards the exit to pay for our minor purchases.
Along the way, we came across some Canada Goose men's winter coats. This caught my attention. I stopped. Major tactical error. "Ooohhh", I said. "Look at the nice colours they have now. These feel really nice. I wonder if they have some in the women's section?"
To contextualize, Canada Goose jackets are the Rolls Royce of winter gear. They're exorbitantly expensive (probably because they're made in Canada) and yet, it seems like everyone has one. I dismissed them because I figured they were "trendy" and I didn't want to look like everyone else. I thought it was some kind of fashion statement, and frankly, why would people pay so much just to look cool?
But let's face it, as much as I tell myself trends have no hold over me, I'm a bit of a fashion slut. Something made me stop in my tracks to look at those jackets. So, we headed over to the women's section and sure enough, they had some in the same funky colours.
Tactical error #2: I decided to try one on. BIG mistake. As I took one off the hanger and put it on, all the pieces fell into place. I understood. "Oh holy mother of GOD." It was like being wrapped in a pillow. I was convinced it was akin to what it would feel like if I were to return to the womb.
Mommy?
I wanted one, bad. Except for one, tiny hitch. They can cost anywhere between $600 and $800. Luckily, my boyfriend was there to talk some sense into me. "Don't do it. It's too expensive for an impulse buy. Step away from the coat."
So I did. I removed the warm, fluffy pillow of a jacket and put on my Helly Hansen ski jacket, which now felt totally ghetto and lightweight, and walked away. It was for the best. The jacket I tried on was nice, to say the least, but it wasn't quite the style I would want if I were to buy one, and it would have been a minor financial catastrophe for me had I purchased it that day.
The seed, however, has been planted. I started looking online at different styles, picking out the one I want, plotting and scheming, for I will have one. Oh yes, I will have my Canada Goose winter jacket. All in good time, my pretties, all in good time.
Savvy retail marketing = 1
Me = 0
** Canada Goose did not pay me to write this. However, if they would like to send me free stuff, I will write a favourable review. I can be bought. 'Cause I'm a whoring consumer slut.
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