Fun things to do when experiencing rage and despair

I've been under some serious emotional strain lately dealing with... difficult people. It hasn't been pretty. I left half a lemon in my desk drawer instead of putting it in the fridge. I haven't been on Facebook for like, a week. My boyfriend's giving me pep talks every night. It's f*cked up. So, I've been thinking of a few things that might be fun to do and may help me feel better...

1 - get completely smashed while watching the three Twilight movies on a continuous loop

2 - write a heartfelt letter to my Member of Parliament (that's the equivalent of a Congress rep for my American readers), asking him why the sun has stopped shining in my heart, and could he please get back to me ASAP otherwise I may drown in a pool of my own tears

3 - start my own version of America's Next Top Model - I would get to be Tyra Banks.

4 - get a shirt made with New Hampshire's motto Live free or die and wear it every day

5 - drink five caffeinated Venti Starbucks lattés in a row then try to meditate

6 - switch to a bacon-only diet

7 - adopt a pet rock, adorn it with a blue rhinestone collar, name it Wilson and bring it everywhere I go

8 - eat a "family-size" bag of Cheetos in one sitting

9 - write a dissertation on the benefits of slovenliness

10 - find out how many cosmos I can drink before passing out