Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Drinking makes everything better

So, yeah.... I've come to realize that staycations aren't for me. However, watching Millionaire Matchmaker on a girls' weekend Saturday afternoon while drinking cosmos, now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Some nouveau rich hipster dufus gets set up on a date. The girl he's with gets him to try a new alcoholic beverage and this is how he describes it: "It's part tuxedo, part motorcycle fuel, part alimony payments." Best. Line. Ever.

This same classy lady says this to him moments later: "Give me a peck on the lips. Don't worry, I don't have any sores or anything." This is when the sheer brilliance of this show dawns on me. That, or the vodka and Triple Sec were taking effect. Anyhoo, there were more zingers being thrown around than ladies' underwear at a Tom Jones concert. (I'm aware that reference is outdated but Tom Jones still rocks that shit. Just sayin'.)

Then we start watching American Dad on Netflix. I'm already a fan of Family Guy and this show basically steps up the jaw-dropping inappropriateness and political incorrectness. In a nutshell, I loved it. I mean, even I was offended, and that's no easy task.

But back to the staycation. Was it nice to not be at work? Yes. Was it fun to be at home, in completely familiar surroundings? Meh. I realized that getting the hell out of dodge is essential to rebooting my brain. When I'm at home, my mind can still obsess about retarded shit because it's not busy trying to find its bearings in a completely foreign land or looking for the nearest tiki hut with those tropical drinks that have tiny umbrellas in them.

Lesson learned. Must travel. Must save money accordingly. Must trust others with my beloved feline. That being said, I should probably stop spending like a drunken sailor. Although, I do get points on my credit card for travel stuff which basically translates into money for travel, so... by spending money am I saving? I like this theory. However, I'm not sure it's accurate.

Random travel photo:

Lake Louise, Alberta


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