The musical: the Wal-Mart of theatre

Before I launch into today's rant, Jennifer E. over at Newsy.com sent me a link to this video, outlining some media reactions to Barbara Walter's picks for her Most Fascinating People of the Year list. I especially like the quote about Elizabeth Hasselbeck - it really does explain a lot. Thanks Jennifer!

Multisource political news, world news, and entertainment news analysis by Newsy.com

And now, today's topic: why does every goddam movie need to be turned into a f*cking musical? News that the new $65 million Spiderman musical previewed on Broadway this past week, with the production coming to a grinding halt numerous times due to technical difficulties  really, as Family Guy's Peter Griffin would put it, "grinds my gears". 

Now, I know there are many fans of the musical out there, and I respect your love of this particular type of entertainment.  However, when movies like Shrek and Legally Blond are translated from film to musical, I start to wonder about the total lack of original ideas out there. 

A line must be drawn somewhere, I mean, come on. Spiderman, the musical, costs $1 million a week just to operate. Really, this is where our priorities are in a time of high unemployment and recession? And this is coming from a playwright! I'm certainly not against the masses being entertained and given a reprieve from their worldly troubles since some of that entertainment will one day consist of scripts written by yours truly.

However, a theatre production that relies so heavily on technical stunts seems to strip the art form of its content, of its very soul. Gripping, entertaining theatre is about compelling stories, characters and relationships, not about harnessing actors in high-wires to fly above crowds. Leave that to Cirque du Soleil - they do it best.

Whose genius idea was it to turn a superhero comic strip into a musical? (That was a rhetorical question - I know the answer but used it merely for dramatic effect.) Is nothing sacred? Can't certain art forms simply remain in their original format without being converted into some flashy, dumbed down version of their former selves destined for mass consumption?

The musical is becoming the Wal-Mart of theatre. It's grotesquely large and forces its suppliers to make an inferior version of their original product.

Musings on Musicals

Ok, so... sometimes I may blog on the weekend when it's not possible to fit it in between Monday and Friday which was my initial plan. Ain't life like that, you make a plan and then life happens. Hey, there's a John Lennon song lyric about that very thing.

I don't like musicals. I've stated this before but I'll say it again. Although, I was reminded of a few more exceptions to that rule yesterday. The Rocky Horror Picture Show was on TV last night. Very appropriate seeing as it was Halloween. I was assistant stage manager for a live production of the very same musical. It kicks ass. The music, the sexual deviance, the high camp factor. It's f*cking brilliant as far as musicals go.  The movie looks like it was made for 50 bucks which only adds to its allure, and Tim Curry is utterly sublime as the cross-dressing title character Frankenfurter. Any musical with lyrics like" Touch-a-touch-a-touch-a-touch me, I want to be dirty" is a winner in my book. 

I was also reminded of another musical which doesn't really qualify as a musical but more of a rock opera - The Who's Tommy. I was stage manager for a production of this show. Sensing a theme? Not to worry, I was also stage manager for a production of Grease, and I still don't like it. But I digress. Tommy kicks some serious ass. We also noticed during the production I worked on that there is no spoken dialogue in Tommy - it's just one awesome, rockin' song after another, telling a great story with zero cheese factor. Love it. 

I would also be remiss if I didn't add to my "List of musicals that don't suck" the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode in Season 6. DAMN. Joss Whedon, holy f*ck. You are brilliant. This episode pushed the storyline of Season 6 into the stratosphere, and brought  unspoken emotions and personal torment into the light of day, or should I say into the light of song. Again, conveying meaningful emotion without the cheese factor. Camp, yes. Cheese, no. I approve.  

If it turns out I'm actually harboring a love of musicals in some deep recess of my mind, and this post is just a big ol' Freudian slip, I may have to kill myself.