Girl crushes and rose ceremonies

I won't be discussing Robin Williams' recent death, in case you're wondering. I'm much too self-absorbed for that. I got my own shit to deal with. Although, now that I think about it, it's f*cking sad. I've grappled with depression in the past, and it's no laughing matter, however diligently one may try to mask it with humour.

We can all sit here at our computers, scratching our heads, blogging about it, trying to come up with theories to explain why such a talented man would end his life but we will never fully know why, and frankly, it's none of our business. Our business is to grieve his loss, remember his incredible life and legacy, and allow him the dignity of privacy, even posthumously.

The boyfriend and I recently saw the movie The Other Woman. Based on the preview, it looked like your typical romcom, some good 'ol brain candy. In other words, we had low expectations. However, I gained a whole new respect for actress Leslie Mann. Girlfriend carried this film and delivered a jaw-droppingly funny performance. I already liked her as an actress but now she may be added to my girl crush list along with Tina Fey.

On my professional crush list, I've recently added screenwriter and TV producer Tom Kapinos (probably best known as the creator of Californication). The writing on that series was so sublimely dirty and delicious, I decided that collaborating on a project with Mr. Kapinos would be the epitome of awesomeness.  

To counterbalance my high expectations of working with writing greatness, the boyfriend and I have been watching Bachelor in Paradise, another new creation of the Bachelor franchise. Basically, a group of hot singles are placed in a Mexican resort to cavort and get laid find true love. There's a rose ceremony every week where contestants who aren't paired up usually get kicked off (one week the girls do the booting, the next week it's the boys), and to keep things spicy, new contestants arrive every week to rock the boat and break up fragile new couples.

What's so entertaining about this show is the difference between men and women and their expectations. Within 48 hours of meeting someone, some female contestants are convinced they've met their future husbands. The men, on the other hand, are all like "Hey, we can hang out but let's play the field, you know, to make sure our connection is real".
 
The best part of this show, as always, are host Chris Harrison's brief appearances. He's all business but you know, on some level, he's in on it. He's ok with being a parody of himself, and I love him for it.

I've been trying to stave off my intense cravings to buy things, most notably clothes. I can barely close my closet as it is but I have this insatiable need to acquire more. I'm aware that it's simply an attempt to fill an abyss of emptiness within and that's what I should really address, but whatevs. I'll get to that eventually. Until then, what's on sale?

Buff Buffy

Take a good look at the woman in the photo below and guess how old she is...

What are you thinking? 45, 50 ish? That's Buffy Sainte-Marie and she's 70 years old. 70! This woman is my new hero. I'm determined to look that good and be in that great a shape at 70. To find out how she keeps lookin' this fine, click here.

Now, you may be wondering: who the hell is Buffy Sainte-Marie? Well, she's a Canadian Cree singer-songwriter, musician, composer, visual artist, educator, pacifist, and social activist. In other words, she kicks ass. She was even blacklisted by the Lyndon B. Johnson administration for being a vocal advocate of the peace movement. 

What I love most about this photo and the accompanying article is the flouting of stereotypes about aging. For instance, there is a commonly held belief that, after a certain age, we should expect our bodies to start falling apart and resign ourselves to bad hairstyles and the use of canes and walkers. To this, I say: F*ck that! I'm in much better shape now than I ever was in my teens and twenties, and it's only gonna get better since I became a gym bitch about six months ago.

I was definitely active during my pre-gym days but adding lunch hour workouts to my current physical activity regime really upped the ante. There are signs that my body is aging but only superficial ones. I feel like I'm getting younger, and rediscovering my sense of play. My existential angst is waning with every passing year, giving way to childlike wonder.

What I also love about the photo is that, although Buffy looks f*cking amazing, she doesn't look like she's had work done. Like Meryl Streep. Yeah, we know these ladies have been around for decades and are not what is generally considered to be "young" anymore but they look great and still have an ineffable glow about them. In other words, they don't look like circus freaks desperately trying to hold on to some warped idea of youth. They seem to embrace their advancing age with verve.

I suspect the pharmaceutical and cosmetic surgery industries have a lot to gain by brainwashing people into thinking that, by a certain age, they'll need a nip and a tuck and some pills. If a man can run a marathon at 100 (it's been done, look it up), then we need to re-frame what it means to age. I, for one, will not be slowing down anytime soon. I plan to be hitting the slopes and mountain bike trails well into my nineties, if not beyond.

Why the Hef is my hero

Over the weekend I had the privilege of watching a documentary on the Hef's life titled: Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel. This film goes far beyond portraying Hugh as simply the founder of Playboy, the masturbatory companion of choice for countless men. It also delves into the aspects of Hefner's life that may be lesser known such as his commitment to equal rights and progressive politics.

Not only is Hef the most enviable heterosexual male around, he is a maverick, not fearing to tread where others dared not. Back in the '50s, he hosted a television show that included white, black and Jewish performers alike, at a time when this was unheard of or at the very least, sneered at with derision. 

A few token "feminists" were included in the documentary, criticizing Hugh for portraying females as merely sexual objects. To which he replied, and I'm paraphrasing from memory: "They are sexual objects. This ensures the propagation of the species. But they are also so much more." He championed women's reproductive rights and the repealing of abortion laws, and brought to the forefront the idea that it's ok for women to like sex, and that "nice girls" like it too.

The Hef has been criticized time and again for his "questionable" morality. The documentary aptly portrays a man who is nothing but honest about his intentions, has never led any of his female companions astray with false expectations and lays his cards on the table. Even during his eight-year marriage to Kimberly Conrad, he remained faithful to her. If anything, Hugh Hefner is a very moral man. Much more so than the hypocritical Christian fanatics who are among his loudest critics.

While Ronald Reagan was selling out his fellow artists to the FBI during the McCarthyan Inquisition of the '40s and '50s, Hugh Hefner chose not to judge his neighbours based on political views but rather accepted differing ideas with an open mind. The Hef was also involved in freeing a man from a 15-year jail sentence for having received a blow job from another man, following a letter sent by the inmate to Playboy magazine describing his situation.

I already admired the Hef but after watching this documentary, my respect for him has only deepened. He is an intelligent, caring, courageous, generous man. Hugh Hefner is who he says he is, and his actions are not discordant with his words. He has done far more to advance black, gay and women's rights than he is given credit for, especially during periods of American history when it was incredibly risky to do so.

Hugh is indeed a rebel, but with a cause. He asked a simple question in his youth, when still following in his elders' footsteps, before founding Playboy: "Is this all there is?" It was his yearning for more, his desire to go beyond what was perceived as possible that indelibly changed the American cultural landscape forever. 

Super awesome and super sucky Golden Globe moments

OF COURSE I'm blogging about the Golden Globes today. Was there really any doubt? This year, my boyfriend and I actually sat through the whole show - a rarity since it gets incredibly boring, incredibly fast. But I'm glad I did because now I can recap some of my fave and not so fave moments. 

Super-duper awesome Golden Globe moments:

1 - The red carpet pre-show: I think it may be more interesting than the actual awards ceremony. 

2 - Ricky Gervais as host. I love this guy. He just goes for it. Some of his jokes last night were met with resistance from the audience, such as his reference to certain prominent Scientologists being secretly gay. I cherished those moments. It was akin to an episode of Family Guy.

3 - Michael Douglas attending the Golden Globes cancer-free. To see Michael and his gorgeous wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones stroll down the red carpet hand-in-hand was a beautiful sight. It warmed the cockles of my cold, cold heart.

4 - Robert DeNiro's acceptance speech after being presented with the Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award. Robert followed in Ricky's footsteps. Some of his jokes were off-colour, the audience hesitating to react. Needless to say, I loved it. He steered clear of a schleppy, smarmy, boring speech. It was thoroughly entertaining. Kudos to you Mr. DeNiro.

5 - Paul Giamatti's freakin' awesome shout-out to the city of Montreal and to Canada, calling it a "great nation". As a Canadian, this was a proud moment. President Bush didn't even thank Canada on Sept. 11, 2001 when thousands of American airline passengers were diverted to Canadian airports. Paul Giamatti - you f*cking rock.

6 - Steve Buscemi's Best Actor win for Boardwalk Empire. Ever since I saw Fargo, I've had a special place in my heart for Mr. Buscemi and seeing him win was indeed a fine moment.  

7 - Colin Firth's Best Actor win for The King's Speech. It's Colin Firth. Need I say more?

Super sucky Golden Globe moments:

1 - Any award that was given to cast members and to the show Glee. I'm sorry but the 2nd season of Glee sucks ass and in every category it won, the competition was WAY better. I was incensed, to say the least. 

Chris Colfer's win for Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Colfer's character this season has done nothing but whine and play the victim. All he's been good at is being thoroughly irritating. I loathe these types of "poor me" story lines, and to be rewarded for it reeks of victimhood worship.

Jane Lynch's win for Best Actress in a Supporting Role: As much as I adore Jane Lynch, her character on Glee is one-dimensional, hasn't evolved in the 2nd season, and wasn't deserving of a Golden Globe, not when she was up against Julia Stiles for a riveting performance in Dexter's 5th season and Sofia Vergara of Modern Family. 

That Glee won for best comedy/musical against the likes of Modern Family and 30 Rock is preposterous. Glee isn't remotely in the same league as those brilliant comedies. Dear Hollywood Foreign Press: get your head out of your ass!

2 - The Kids are Alright being placed in the category of "Comedy or Musical". Did the Hollywood Foreign Press even see this movie? It IS NOT a comedy or a musical, not even remotely close to being either of those two things. It's a DRAMA, people.

3 - Scarlett Johansson's hair. She looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. 

Ummm.... no.

All in all, a mildly entertaining evening. Of course, we missed a new episode of Californication last night, which should have been nominated for best Comedy/Musical, and its star David Duchovny, for Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical. But to compare Californication to the insipid Glee would defile its excellence.

Also, note to self: must see The Social Network.

Betty White rocks it and Jessica Simpson shows potential

At 88 years old, Betty White has signed on to a full season of a new sitcom, titled "Hot". And she's scheduled to host Saturday Night Live this spring. Holy f*ck, this woman is awesome! I loved her in Golden Girls. And no, I don't feel the need to explain why I watched Golden Girls in the first place. (It was the '80s. It's what we did. We watched lame ass sitcoms. ) 

However, this doesn't negate the fact that the cast of this sappy sitcom was da' bomb. Bea Arthur, Betty White, Rue McClanahan and Estelle Getty. These bitches had it goin' on. Kudos to Betty for kickin' it in 2010 at 88. I love this woman.

On another note, Simpleminded Simpson has impressed me. Bet you had to read that twice. 

Jessica has a new reality show called The Price of Beauty with, much to my surprise, an interesting premise. She travels around the world to find out what other cultures consider beautiful. This is interesting. This may shed some light on a topic that affects women around the world. A huge departure from her Newlyweds days. 

Of course, there were some classic Simpleminded Simpson moments in the season premiere when she and her posse visited Thailand, like when she gagged in the middle of a public market after trying some fried worm, and caught a case of the giggles while meditating with a Buddhist monk. Oh Jessica, I don't know if this makes you more endearing or more pathetic. 

Either way, kudos to you for a show that may actually have potential.

Jessica with her posse (Ken Paves and Cacee Cobb)

Cacee? Who spells their name this way? Is it pronounced Kay-see"? Cacee? Sounds like Say-See. Except the "C" is probably meant to sound like a "K". It's very confusing. But I digress...