Post Apocalyptic Diatribes of a Non-Politically Correct Nature

Sooo... There I was, a few months ago, internally dialoguing with my naïve self, saying: "Yeah, this crummy pandemic should be done soon and I'll be back at work." Oh Ye of little knowledge. As a yoga teacher, it has now sunk in that I won't be "back at work" anywhere near my pre-pandemic capacity for like, eternity. To say I've been "watching" Netflix and Prime is like saying an alcoholic had one drink. I've been gorging on television like a starving Hollywood starlet set free in a Krispy Kreme donut shop. 

In the meantime, the world has turned from total shit to "I think it might be better to be dead". Disease, riots, Trump, the fall of Hong Kong to Chinese rule, Putin's Poison Patrol and the left's adept answer to all this: the Politically Correct Gestapo. I've always considered myself to be a left-leaning Liberal but lately, I'm embarrassed to admit I have any "left" leanings at all. There has been a groundswell of rabid woke folk who somehow have deemed themselves of the purest moral fabric and pronounce their judgements on all others who do not comply with their wokeful edicts.

One is no longer allowed to have a differing opinion or ask difficult questions when it comes to issues of race, gender, sexual harassment, climate, or any other classically left-leaning subject. Take for example, climate change. The PC Gestapo claims that carbon is enemy numero uno and we must focus on reducing our carbon emissions at all costs because THIS IS THE ONLY PROBLEM THAT EXISTS AND DON'T ANYONE DARE QUESTION IT. I choose to question it. I'm not a climate denier. I've loved the environment, recycled and hugged trees for as long as I can remember. But no one seems to be talking about the issue of plastics pollution which may kill us before carbon does, or the sustained availability of potable water, which we literally can't live without or, gee, pandemic preparedness BEFORE a pandemic hits.

There is scientific research (and researchers) stating that yes, the climate does change but we humans have little to do with it. Don't believe me? Feel free to read this; this; this, this and this. I simply feel that it's ok for me to not believe everything I'm told and to do a little research of my own to understand the full breadth and complexity of important questions. Call me crazy but I think a rational, considered response to things seems to be the best route to follow instead of listening to a whiny teenage girl tell me I'm a bad person for merely having existed on this earth longer than she has. 

The PC Gestapo has also lost sight of differing degrees of actions when it comes to things like sexual harassment. The advent of the #metoo movement was an important development and dangerous predators were stopped. I fully agree that this was a good thing. But in the midst of this karmic wave, accusations are being thrown about like yesterday's dirty underwear and people like Al Franken are put in the same category as Harvey Weinstein. With this, I do disagree. Al Franken may have behaved badly, had a momentary lapse of reason, but he's not a predator, à la Jeffrey Epstein. Human behaviour is complex and nuanced. Good people do bad things and bad people do good things. The Left's insistence on categorizing human actions and words to fit into neat little black and white boxes is ridiculous and shows very little understanding of human nature. 

"Cancel culture" in which we essentially deny opinions we don't agree with and the "Twitter Mob" which, to my understanding, is a group of reactionary puritans with a lot of time on their hands whose mission it is to destroy the lives of those who dare to think independently, are both alive and well and thriving in our crisis-riddled, pandemic-plagued present. We don't know how to have a healthy, respectful debate anymore. We don't know how to talk to each other anymore. Hurling insults on social media is not debate, it's bullying of the most cowardly kind. 

When we discuss climate, my partner jokingly refers to me as a right-wing Republican when I start questioning the current climate zeitgeist. I know it's meant in jest, and I laugh because it's funny and I still have a sense of humour, but it is indicative of our current need to categorize and pick sides. Why can't I stand in the middle and share my popcorn with everyone? Oh right, because there's a PANDEMIC.

Pre-Apocalyptic Musings of Post-Democratic Proportions

So... the biggest problem I had on New Year's Day 2020 was the prospect of Friends disappearing from Netflix. Oh Universe, you have a dark sense of humour. Turns out Friends is still on Netflix but the Apocalypse is nigh which would make Friends being on Netflix a moot point. COVID-19 is basically creating a new reality most of us have never experienced: thinking of others before ourselves. This may require actions we are not inclined to do: cancelling travel and cool shit you were going to do (think of all those lost opportunities to post your awesome picks on social media - you'll need to find alternate means to sate your hunger for attention and validation); staying at home (for an introvert like me, it's like winning the lottery); keeping your outings to essential trips only (pretty much what daily life used to be like for me - who's laughing now extrovert bitches).

It's hard to complain about a forced vacation where I can catch up on all sorts of shit I usually wouldn't have time to do; boredom is not a problem I foresee encountering. Sure, the economy is turning to shit, my investments may be evaporating before my eyes and I have no gainful employment at the moment, seeing as teaching yoga in person is currently considered a biohazard. But I get to sleep in every morning, eat corn dogs and chips without guilt (I consider these emotional support foods since my emotional support animal has her own preoccupations at the moment, like my partner and I being home all the time, disrupting her daily napping routine).

If I don't watch the news too much, I can keep my stress levels at a manageable level. If I start binge watching CBC News Network and CNN, I usually find myself curled up in a ball, rocking myself gently, self-soothing to the dulcet tones of Kenny G., and that's on a good day. But hey, I can't really complain. There are folks out there working their asses off so the rest of us losers can stay home and not spread this virus: front-line medical staff; grocery and pharmacy staff; truck drivers. The supply chain is relatively intact, and if it weren't for a few freaks stocking up on toilet paper (WTF?), we may not have felt much of a disruption at all.

My mother actually made an interesting remark regarding all this pandemonium - she said that maybe it was time we were shaken up since our respective societies are rotting from self-interest, corruption, greed and a lust for ever-expanding growth. Sometimes, we need the shit kicked out of us; a pressing of the "reset" button, if you will, to perhaps reframe how we live, how we treat others and the planet, how corporations are basically running the world and we need to address this. But will anything change once this pandemic has passed? I doubt it. We're creatures of habit. We've normalized the moronic and deceitful words of despots; we've turned a blind eye to the murder of a journalist by a brutal regime because, hey, it would mean breaking a contract worth billions.

Kenny G.'s not sounding so bad right now, is he? I want to believe that the human race learns from its mistakes but with the advent of an era of stupid and mean (Trump, Johnson, Putin, Jinping, Bolsonaro, etc...), we seem to be stepping backwards towards intolerance, ignorance and totalitarianism. At the time of writing this, there are still some spring-breakers in Georgia who refuse to cut short their vacation because "you know, we've always lived with viruses, what's the big deal"? With this specter of sheer idiocy, being forced to stay at home and not deal with people seems like a blessing.

Think of it this way: we were already living Armageddon before COVID-19, it was just happening in small increments. So maybe buy a couple extra bags of Miss Vickie's (why not try a new flavour?), pour yourself a glass of your favourite numbing alcohol, spark up Netflix, and ponder how to save the world once you're out of quarantine.
 

Generation X Sobriety Triggered Non-Offensiveness

So yeah... it's been a while since I've posted here, and I can't guarantee I'll be writing with any regularity but I'd like to try (first New Year's resolution that will probably be broken). The boyfriend and I are going to try something called "Dry January" meaning no drinking in January which I foolishly agreed to. Not that I'm a heavy drinker (most weekends and the occasional weeknight include wine, and/or a beer, and/or a snifter of some yummy liqueur with egg nog) but going dry, that's big. I also agreed to this before I found out that Friends would no longer be available on Netflix as of TODAY, to which I say, WTF Netflix? and why did I agree to toss my liquid crutch out the window at such a vulnerable time?

You see, Friends is like a safety blanket, something I could turn to when people piss me off (which is pretty much always), when I feel unmotivated and just want to procrastinate and not move forward with my life or when I yearn for some wholesome, family entertainment. Now what? I thought the blow would be softened with The Office remaining on Netflix, but, as I found out, that's disappearing as well in 2021. Again, I say, WTF Netflix? If alcohol is bad for you, how are we expected to quit when our emotional support shows are yanked off our streaming service?

Wine: nothing but a fond memory now.

You'd think being a yoga teacher and all, I would have learned how to cope without alcohol, but, as I say to no one anyone who asks: "It's a process, and I haven't evolved past the fetus stage yet, in spiritual terms". Being a Gen X'er and a yoga teacher is kind of an oxymoron, isn't it? None of that soft, mushy "safe space, respect my triggers" Millenial marshmallow soup tainted our generation. No, we were the "stick it to the Man, grunge music-listening, apathetic, everyone sucks, I don't care if you're offended" generation who also may have invented the Internet, so go figure.

I mean, I love what I do, but I also understand why we're mercilessly ridiculed in mainstream media, and I haven't completely sloughed off my Gen X'er cynicism and hard edge. I mourn the loss of our sense of humour, and the pendulum swinging way too far in the direction of political correctness, with what I call the "PC Gestapo" monitoring every word said, typed, tweeted and shared for potential "offensiveness". To which I say: learn how to be offended. Not everyone will share your views, and multiple truths can co-exist at the same time. Also, humour is one of the most effective tools at pointing out things like racism, sexism, bullying, harassment and discrimination through the use of jokes, sarcasm and ridicule.

I think people are so easily offended because, with the advent of social media, everyone thinks their opinion matters. Newsflash: it doesn't. The world doesn't need our opinions to move forward. What the world needs is for us to read books, stay informed, be actively engaged in our communities, and learn how to gracefully accept someone else's differing view even if we're feeling "triggered". Also, maybe we could re-learn in-person communication, you know, how to talk to an actual human being sitting in front of us. Whoa! What a concept. I'm hopeful that social media will eventually lead us to a "back-to-basics" movement of actually talking to and listening to each other, once we get sick of the endless comment wars, attention seeking and cowardly bullying (yeah, it's easy online, but try saying that to someone's face).

No amount of online attention can replace authentic human connections, and this is coming from a Gen X'er who generally hates people. So you can imagine the desperation I'm beginning to feel if I'm encouraging touchy-feely "let's talk" shit. Sobriety is making me soft.

Happy F*cking New Year.