Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Vajazzle this!

Is there anything more exciting than learning a new word? Yesterday, my stepdaughter introduced me to a term she heard on a new show on TLC called Big Sexy, a show about fat chicks living in New York. 

In one episode, our Sex and the City plus-size cohort heads to the salon and one of them gets a bikini wax, with a twist. You see, if you'd like to add that extra layer of "sexy", you can vajazzle your vag, meaning the application of shiny, jewelery-like bits over your lady parts, on your lower abdomen.

Since it's a brand new word, I thought I'd come up with a few more definitions....

1 - Vajazzle, noun, masculin: man who drizzles giz everywhere after sex, except in your cooch; basically, a post-coital slob.

Used in a sentence: Honey, how many times do I have to tell you! My belly button is not a vagina. Why do you have to be such a vajazzle.

2 - Vajazzle, verb: a slang expression for "I'm gonna mess you up, bitch" 

Used in a sentence: Touch my vintage stapler one more time, and I'm gonna vajazzle your ass!

3 - Vajazzle, adjective: inappropriate article of clothing.

Used in a sentence: That is such a vajazzle top. No one needs to see your fake boob scars, or your eerily immobile nipples, for that matter.

4 - Vajazzle, noun, feminine: woman who washes her hair too infrequently and looks like she was attacked by a vajazzle (see definition #1).

Used in a sentence: Oh honey, when was the last time you washed your hair? Don't be such a vajazzle. 

5 - Vajazzle, noun, masculin: a snappy-dressing vampire.

Used in a sentence: Like, oh my God, Robert Pattinson is like, the best vajazzle EVER!

6 - Vajazzle, verb: a bejeweled varsity athlete.

Used in a sentence: Wow, it really sucks that (name has been blocked for privacy purposes) is benched again! Someone should tell her vajazzling is like, so last year.

If you've got any new definition ideas for this fabulous word, then please, share with the rest of the class...

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