Tuesday, February 5, 2013

1 cent delusions of menstrual grandeur

The Canadian government stopped making the penny. So, if I hold on to the ones I have, will they increase in value? I'm thinking early retirement. I've got at least, oh, 10-20 cents in my wallet. So, let's say they double in value every hour into infinity from now on. I can't do math 'cause it hurts my head and I suck at it but I think that will make me rich. Gives a whole new meaning to saving your pennies for a rainy day.

Menstrual cramps are very distracting.

Just checked my bank account. I shouldn't have done that. Credit would be a good thing if they taught us how to use it properly. Then again, if we used it properly, the banks wouldn't make any money. I'm thinking I should be getting more perks, though, because they make a lot of money off me. I don't know, a free trip, unlimited Starbucks lattés... it might make me be even more irresponsible about using credit thus making me a better customer thus garnering me more free stuff. I'm on to something here...

You know, when you meet someone who could be an important professional contact, and then, in your mind, you think you've had an impact on them, that you've been charming, witty and unforgettable? Then you cross paths with them again a few months later and they barely remember who you are? This is when I start to worry that I suffer from constant delusions of grandeur and that everyone is as self-obsessed as I am and it's a wonder anything gets done at all because we're so wrapped up in our own version of what the world should be like that when it falls short, well, it's humbling. Humility sucks.

How long do I have until self-pity just seems gauche?

The fourth episode of Girls held some promise. I could glean shreds of its former grandeur. Bravo, Lena. You may have found your footing again after a shaky start. Even the boyfriend watched it.

I'm planning a trip to Iceland in 2014. There are perks to digging Björk. I probably would have never heard of Iceland if it weren't for her, and if her native country is anywhere as cool as she is, it'll blow my mind. I loved her Oscar swan dress despite its universal revilement. I bet everyone remembers it, whether they liked it or not. But can you remember what anyone else was wearing at the Oscars in 2001? Björk wins.

No comments:


Related Posts with Thumbnails