Friday, December 9, 2011

Talkin' smack... they make it so easy

Michelle Duggar miscarried her 20th child. Let's consider that a message from Mother Nature: the planet is already overpopulated - any more children from you is not a gift from God but a curse from Satan who would love nothing more than to watch humanity destroy itself. So stop poppin' out more mouths to feed. Your bulging brood is already stressing me out.

Angelina Jolie admits in an interview that she doesn't really have any female friends. She says she's pretty much homebound and only really talks to Brad. What about her brother? You know, the one she open-mouthed kissed at the Oscars? They must be close. Unless he's ticked that she only makes out with Brad now.

Jesse James recently dissed Sandra Bullock on his show American Chopper: The Build-Off, saying of his marriage to Bullock, "I became a big shot and married some Hollywood actress". Well, you can take the boy out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the boy. He also cheated on his newest ex-fiancé, Kat Von D. Jesse, you suck. Go away.

Now that Jennifer Aniston is hooked up with Justin Theroux, apparently Pippa Middleton is the new poster girl for sad, single, filthy rich, world is at your fingertips, everyone adores you girl. Yeah, I feel really bad for her.

Kris Humphries, Kim Kardashian's ex-husband, is worried about his basketball career. His contract with the New York Nets wasn't renewed at the end of last season and he's looking for a job. Well Kris, when you go slumming, there are consequences.

Lindsay Lohan will be on the cover of Playboy. Naturally, that would be the next step for a washed up has-been with no career to speak of.

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