Wednesday, August 8, 2012

If they were real vampires, it would have lasted forever

I love it when celebrities trip up, especially ones I feel are overblown, talentless hacks. Like Kristen Stewart. I know, I know, she's Hollywood's little darling, but I can't possibly be the only one who noticed that, ahem, she sucks. Not only Robert Pattinson ... but as an actress.

So, imagine my delight when I found out she was busted for cheating on her Twilight beau with the married director of Snow White and the Huntsman. First off, dude, you're married, and secondly, if you're going to cheat and had to pick between Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart, the choice seems pretty obvious.

Stewart is one of those questionable Hollywood creations, full of hype but lacking substance. I've seen her in a few flicks, Twilight and non-Twilight, and it quickly became apparent to me that she has no range whatsoever. She's like a wet noodle, flaccid, uninviting. And yet, according to, like, everyone, she's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Classic propaganda.

I cannot be convinced and will not be brainwashed by studio executives and their media peons falsely marketing their latest ingenue to sell movie tickets. I'm constantly amazed at the power of media to plant ideas in our brains and manipulate our perception to make us believe in things that aren't even there.

This cheating scandal is the most exciting thing Kristen's ever done.

Ahhh, glad I got that pickle out of my ass. You know, these things, they weigh on me, and I just have to let them out, like diarrhea.

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