Thursday, March 22, 2012

Zombies and pigs and spiders, oh my!

Lately, I've been obsessed with exploding cherries, pea shooters, lethal chili peppers, lily pads, sunflowers and zombies. Probably an indication of my sheer genius, you know, thinking outside the box.

Ok, no. I downloaded the Plants vs. Zombies app on my iPhone. This shit is awesome. You have to figure out how to kill an onslaught of zombies with plants that have different kinds of powers.

  I know, it looks super cool, right?

I've shifted to this game since I'm stuck on a certain level in Angry Birds, I can't figure it out and I refuse to buy the all-knowing eagle that would help me get to the next level. I'll find the solution myself, eventually. But I figured I needed to take a step back, assess the situation and kill some zombies. Besides, those green pigs can be so smug, with their crooked smiles and big, beady eyes. 

 Look at those green f*ckers. Just starin' at ya, like you're never gonna figure out how to topple that shit over and kill them. Pricks.

I've also been focused on not letting a spider eat my butterfly. Sounds dirty, right? Pervert. It's a new version (or maybe old, what do I know?) of Bejeweled, a puzzle game. 

My stepdaughter also got me onto Instagram - it's like Twitter but with photos instead of tweets, and it has all these cool photo editing tools so the pics you post make it look like you have the hippest effing life. It be dope, bitches. Here's the latest pic I posted:

I know, I could be a professional photographer. I have the inner eye, you know, the vision.

Sometimes, I wonder what my life was like pre-iPhone. What the hell did I do in my spare time? Read? Stay informed about current events? Try to be a responsible and engaged citizen? Bo-ring. 

I'm starting to realize there are endless possibilities for mindless distraction, and I can safely loaf in a myopic cocoon of my own creation, effectively ignoring my immediate surroundings. Who needs social skills anymore? I don't have to talk to anyone. I have my apps.

Besides, I post on Facebook, and Twitter, and Pinterest, and Instagram. It's not like I'm totally anti-social. I have friends, albeit virtual, but they feel real, sort of.


Court said...

Your photo rocks. Period.

Sassy Stylings said...

Ahhhh, thanks :)


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