Friday, March 2, 2012

Oscar redux. Yeah, it's a few days late. On purpose.

You know, Ryan Seacrest, you're a f*cking sourpuss. Sacha Baron Cohen made you more famous than you could ever be on your own in only a few seconds. So your Oscar outfit was messed up with fake ashes (or were they?). EVERYONE was talking about it the next day, and frankly, I would have been much more impressed with you had you smiled and gone along with it.

But no. Why? 'Cause you're a douchebag. Sacha Baron Cohen dwarfs you in intellect and originality. You're the vanilla to his Rocky Road, the flaccid to his hard-on, the wet noodle to his crispy bacon. You get the idea. Why not appreciate that he basically just put you on the map of super-stardom, if only momentarily, and ride the wave. You suck.

On another note,  Angelina Jolie's right leg seems to have eclipsed any other newsworthy bits from Oscar night. Frankly, it's a bit too skinny. There's very little shape to it.

Stick-like, at best.

Now THAT is a great leg. Long, shapely, even somewhat athletic, one might say. 
Thank you, Cindy Crawford

I mean, don't get me wrong, I know a vast percentage of the male, and female, populace lust after Angelina. It's clearly evident that she's attractive, and let's face it, we all suspect she has a touch of the crazy, which makes her that much more alluring. Because, obviously, that translates into freakish sex, and who doesn't want that?

Now that I'm on Twitter, I'm been privy to the new @AngiesRightLeg Twitter account which now has 45, 276 followers. I don't even want to think about how dumb the vast majority of people must be for this to have become such a phenomenon. Really? Some starlet's leg? We don't have anything else we could possibly obsess about? 

This will do wonders for young girls with eating disorders the world over. I hate people.

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