You know you've hit rock bottom when Jersey Shore is your best option

** Some language may have been edited for dramatic effect.  

I uttered a sentence the other day that is indicative of how desperate I am for some good TV. We were scrolling through our TV Guide and I said: "Hey! Let's watch Jersey Shore!" Both my boyfriend and stepdaughter looked at me in dismay. 

Sure, this may sound pretty mundane, except that we already have very low standards. We watch The Bachelor franchise, Total Wipeout, America's Next Top Model, etc... You get the drift. So, to be shamed in this way in our household is a red flag I should not ignore. 

The situation is so critical that I've resorted to reading. READING. INSTEAD OF WATCHING TV. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm an avid reader and always have a book on the go but to choose literature over mindless entertainment is not like me. No, something is very, very wrong. 

I'm quite excited about my newest book selection, Jonathan Franzen's Freedom but I've lost my nightly anchor of TV shows: no more Mad Men, no more True Blood, Nurse Jackie, United States of Tara, Hung. WTF? Why are they all on break AT THE SAME TIME?

I can already hear you saying: "But Sassy, Weeds and 30 Rock are currently airing." To which I would reply: "I know but I started watching these series on DVD and cannot bring myself to watch them with commercials." It's a question of principle. Ok, maybe not, but it sounded like the right thing to say at that moment.