Friday, May 13, 2011

Not getting shanked in your sleep has many advantages

This past Mother's Day, I awoke, like any other weekend morning, and got up to make a pot of coffee. My boyfriend sees this and says: "What are you doin'?" To which I reply: "Goin' to make some coffee". To which he replies "Maybe you should go down in the basement first." Then I thought: Is that where stepmothers have to go on Mother's Day? but my actual reply was "Oh, ok." My boyfriend, seeing my hesitation at being banished to the basement, tells me there's a surprise down there for me.

So I'm all like: "Oooohhh, I love surprises!" I head down to the dungeon basement, look around for a bit and don't see anything out of the ordinary. Then, as I turn and look under the stairs, a brand new set of golf clubs, with tees and balls is sitting there innocently. And everything is PINK. To say that I love pink would be an understatement. That I now have pink golf clubs makes my life complete. 

But it didn't end there. My stepdaughter made me this beautiful card, and coupons for free hugs and homemade pasta dinners and other cool stuff. I was completely taken by surprise. I mean, I'm just glad my stepdaughter hasn't murdered me in my sleep. Anything beyond that is simply icing on the cake. 

Being a stepmother is a strange and fascinating thing. I'm not a mom per se, I'm more of an older female person that my boyfriend's kids can hang out with. A hip, young aunt if you will. (YES, I'm still young, you know, down with the homies and shit. Ok, I have no idea what that means but it sounds like something a young person would say). But I digress. 

There's really no social language for step-parents, no clear designations. We're basically navigating in uncharted territory, hoping for the best.

No one ever expects or aspires to be a step-parent. It's one of those things in life that always appears to be a scary prospect, wrought with difficulty. But I've learned that within that hard shell exterior lies a beautiful, shiny pearl. (I have a heart. Who knew?)

I always told myself I wanted to live an unconventional life. I didn't know what shape it would take but my wish was granted and I definitely got something singular and rare. 

Then there are days like last Sunday, days that make me realize I've somehow made a positive contribution to a young person's life, despite the lack of blood relations. And it's in those moments that I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

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