Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Oh Ahhh-nold. You won't be back. Not if Maria has anything to say about it.

Ok, was anyone really surprised that Ahhh-nold fathered a child out of wedlock? I mean, come on, there were complaints of sexual harassment by some of his female co-stars on movie sets years ago. 

And let's face it, if you're a Kennedy, like Maria Shriver, you're destined for tragedy. I mean, if I were her, I'd look at it this way: at least I wasn't shot in the head or killed in a plane crash.

Now Maria's hired a P.I. to dig into Arnold's past as she prepares for divorce proceedings. There are rumours of other children out of wedlock and Maria wants to know exactly what her philandering husband's been up to.

I didn't even bat an eyelash when I found out about this fiasco, and I got to thinking (no good can ever come of this, but I do it anyway) how tragic it is that I'm not in the least surprised about this most hurtful indiscretion. I would even label my reaction as almost apathetic.

Are we so accustomed to bad behaviour that it's become commonplace? Like "Oh, that's too bad about his heinous deception, pass the Cheetos." 

Or perhaps a sly smile appears on our face as yet again, something crummy has happened to rich and/or famous people - people we assume are happier than we are because they're rich and/or famous, and we glean some joy from their misery.

Personally, I feel bad for Maria. It blows that she married such a douche. She deserves better. So I've conducted my own investigation and have come up with additional individuals I believe may be Arnold's out of wedlock love children:

Stephen Dorff:  Daddy?

 Yes. Doh! I mean, who are you?

Brigitte Nielsen: Daddy?

Ok, you were WAY before Maria, you don't count.

Prince Harry: Daddy? Oh, wait, wrong paternity suit.

Dolph Lundgren: Daddy?

You're actually Brigitte's half brother. Sorry about that.


.end transmission. said...

What, no Danny DeVito reference? C'mon, you're slacking!

Sassy Stylings said...

OMG... I suck.


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