Fun with current events - today's topic: US airport security

Have you ever noticed how the lyrics to Beyoncé's Single Ladies would be awesome as a song about current US airport security procedures? With just a bit of tweaking...

All the travelers, all the travelers

All the travelers, all the travelers

All the travelers, all the travelers

All the travelers

Now put your hands up

Up in the airport, we just met, I’m doing my own little thing
Decided to dip but now you wanna trip
'Cause another scanner noticed me

I’m up on it, it up on me
Don't pay it any attention
'Cause I cried my tears, gave three good minutes
Ya can’t be mad at me

'Cause if you liked it then you should have put a hand on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it
Don’t be mad once you see that it want me
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it

Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have put a hand on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it
Don’t be mad once you see that it want me
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it

I got gloss on my lips, a scanner on my hips
Got me tighter in my Dereon jeans
Acting up, boarding pass in my pocket
I can care less what you think

I need no permission, did I mention
Don't pay it any attention
'Cause you had your turn, and now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to violate me

'Cause if you liked it then you should have put a hand on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it
Don’t be mad once you see that it want me
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it

Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have put a hand on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it
Don’t be mad once you see that it want me
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it

Don’t treat me to the things of this government
I’m not that kind of girl
Your respect is what I prefer, what I deserve

Here's a scanner that invades me, then takes me
And delivers me to a flight, to a departing gate and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m the one you own
If you don’t, you won't make your quota, and like a terrorist I’ll be gone

All the travelers, all the travelers

All the travelers, all the travelers

All the travelers, all the travelers

All the travelers

Now put your hands up

Oh, oh, oh

'Cause if you liked it then you should have put a hand on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it
Don’t be mad once you see that it want me
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it 

If you liked it then you should have put a hand on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it
Don’t be mad once you see that it want me
If you liked it then you shoulda put a hand on it

Oh, oh, oh