Thursday, April 14, 2011

Tyra, why you gotta bullshit me sister?

Last night, I had a tiny TV orgasm. Why, you ask? Because I got to watch two hours of America's Next Top Model - last week's episode via On Demand since I missed it, followed by this week's new episode, then a new episode of Modern Family, followed by the premiere of Happy Endings, a promising new comedy. I can't remember the last time I had three solid hours of awesomeness on TV. Life is good. 

So, back to America's Next Top Model since, like, oh my God, there was so much DRAMA. So, this girl Alexandria, who thinks she's all that, and is kind of an arrogant bitch in the house, is convincing everyone else, i.e. Tyra and the judges, that she's just the best person/model ever. 

Then, on a photo shoot, this other contestant, Brittani, is talking to the other girls saying how Alexandria shouldn't have won the latest challenge (being featured in a "fight breast cancer" ad campaign) because she's such a fake ho, and Alexandria's all like " I heard that!", and Brittani's all like, "Well it's true! We all wanted you to go home last week!" and it's a bitchfest smackdown. Little did they know that one of the judges, Nigel Barker, witnessed the whole thing.

Then, during the judging panel, Nigel just had to bring it to everyone's attention, then Brittani lost her shit, and there was crying and gnashing of teeth and panic attacks and a contrite return before the judges. Tyra gets all sanctimonious and shit, telling Brittani she was totally unprofessional and should never have done what she did while on the job, especially not in front of clients.

So, Alexandria comes out looking like the poor, hapless victim and Brittani is admonished to no end by Tyra, and told that if Tyra had the final word, she'd be gone. Ouch. Except that Brittani has better photos than Alexandria, and Tyra was outvoted by the other judges, including Nigel, to keep Brittani, and Alexandria has previously gotten in shit, more than once, for telling people what to do on set. How soon Tyra forgets...

But it's the fashion industry people. Of course fake will overrule authentic. Even Tyra was singing the praises of "faking it" in front of clients, like if you're having a bad day, you have to pretend you're not. You gotta put on your happy face and your big girl panties. Except that there are tremendously successful models who are known to be, at times, totally out of control bitches. 

Take, for example, Naomi Campbell, who, on numerous occasions, has been known to have tantrums and throw shit at people. Clients are still booking her. Or Kate Moss, who was caught, then exposed on the front page of a British newspaper doing coke. Yep, she's still modeling. I wonder why Tyra didn't mention that.

Let's face it, if models sell shit, they'll get booked, irregardless of their behaviour. If anything, notoriety will raise their celebrity status, not tarnish it. I mean, look at Charlie Sheen. It's the same in the modeling industry. 

Tyra can pontificate all she wants but bad girl models have proven they can be just as successful, if not more so, than those who tow the line. And frankly, Brittani is a superior model. So she'd had enough of Alexandria and her bullshit and let off some steam. Big deal. Like that hasn't happened before in the real modeling industry? Come on, what do you take us for Tyra, idiots? Please bitch. We all know how it goes down. And your sugar coating just leaves a sour taste in my mouth. 

No comments:


Related Posts with Thumbnails