Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Celebrities - they're just like us!

I love this section of In Touch magazine for its utter ridiculousness. There's always a two-page photo spread devoted to demonstrating to us, the common folk, how celebrities are "just like us" or "showing their real side". Wow, they pick up a pizza! Holy shit, they eat fried food and pump their own gas! OMFG!

This kills me. That I'm avidly perusing a bottom-feeding rag like In Touch is disturbing enough but to find out that celebrities are "just like us"? How can it be? Only in some strange, parallel universe would a celebrity act like a regular Joe. I mean, come on. If you could spend indiscriminately on totally frivolous crap; get a table at a trendy restaurant without a reservation when there's a waiting list; have a personal stylist, publicist, trainer, chef; have free designer clothes sent to you; live in a mansion; walk a red carpet into every party you attend, and basically forget that there is a whole race of human beings beneath you who can only dream of these things, why on earth would you abase yourself and roll in the mud with those miscreants?

Run your own errands? Pump your own gas? Damn, you're a celebrity rebel! If In Touch was smart, they'd change this section to "Celebrities - they're not like you and this is what they get away with", which would be much more interesting. It could include photos of celebs snorting coke or smoking a crack pipe (oh wait, that's been done - I think Kate Moss has recovered nicely), or flashing their naked girly parts when getting out of a car due to lack of underwear (oh wait, that's been done too - Britney seems to be on the mend as well), or having some kinky threesome (oh wait, that one's on the Web - oh McSteamy, you bad, bad boy). Hey, I never said I was ahead of the curb, or that my ideas were cutting edge. But I digress.

This is just another great example of the sheer retardedness of the celebrity/gossip magazine. I actually feel dumber after I've read this type of fare. Of course, this won't prevent me from continuing to read trashy mags. It's part of my lifestyle, and makes me feel good about myself. Hey, maybe celebrity mags should be marketed as self-esteem boosters. Who doesn't feel good when some celeb is exposed for acting like a total dumbass or wearing hideous clothes? This is what insecure teenage girls should be reading instead of fashion magazines. Now that is a cutting edge idea.

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