Thursday, October 29, 2009

Miley Cyrus voted worst celebrity influence of 2009

This just confirms my initial suspicions and prediction of Miley Cyrus' future profession. Miley was voted the worst celebrity influence of 2009 in an online poll, ahead of Kanye West and Britney Spears. Damn, that makes you a bad, bad girl Miss Miley. Pole dancing at an awards show can really sink your reputation. You know what Miley's becoming? A slunt. What's a slunt, you ask? It's a combination of slut and, can you guess? If you can't, think about it for a minute. It'll hit you soon enough. This word comes from an episode of One Tree Hill. I f*cking love it. It just rolls off the tongue with such ease. Slunt. Say it a few times. You'll start to love it just as much as I do. And I bet you can think of at least one person you know who fits into this category.

Some say Miley is trying to shift from being a pukey, Disney-fied child star to an adult performer. Oh, she's becoming an adult performer all right. And her daddy, Billy Rae thinks it's great! Click here for more on that. Artistic expression my ass. Sex sells. The Cyrus family knows this. Have you seen photos of Miley's little sis in her Halloween costume? Click here. Disturbing? Yes. A la JonBenet Ramsay? Yes. I'm not saying Miley Junior will turn up dead but she has that eerie pre-pubescent beauty pageant thing going on. This can only lead to no good. 

Hopefully, Miley's star is starting to burn out and she will slowly disappear from our collective consciousness to some strip club in Vegas. This will be a gift to humanity, and to horny, drunken men.

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