Thursday, November 19, 2009

Levi's GQ bungle and Posh's clever wordplay

It's not everyday you find gems like these, when the faux celebrity is treated as such. Poor, poor Levi. Ignored at a celebrity-infested party. Flying first class and calling himself "Ricky Hollywood"? An entourage consisting of Tank, his manager, and some other beefcake wearing an earpiece? WTF? Is this guy for real? I guess this is part of Levi's grand plan to pursue modeling/acting to support his young child. People like this, I just want to slap them. It awakens the crazy in me, stupid does.

The other disturbing element in this article is that, in the last paragraph,  Lindsay Lohan is included in a list of legitimate celebs. Please. She barely qualifies.

It must be my lucky day because not only did I find one gem but two. Victoria Beckham claiming she prefers sex over sleep? My ass. Look at the wording carefully. She states: "I'm getting into bed with David Beckham every night, so, you know, there'd be something wrong if I said, 'sleep,'". Translation: " I actually prefer sleep but because I'm so incredibly vain and really care about what people think of me, I'm going to go with the safe answer." 

She even felt the need to justify her skin colour. The best line: "I don't self-tan anymore." So which is it? Your skin colour is naturally dark or you spend a lot of time artificially darkening it? Whether it's self-tanner or the L.A. sun is irrelevant. Although, I can't picture Posh spending hours in the sun tanning since everyone knows that contributes to premature aging. Rest assured, Posh is aware of this and it's the last thing she wants. So if her skin is naturally dark, then why not just say so? Because it's probably not the case and Posh can't own up to the fact that she still fake tans.

Conclusion: you can't really believe anything Posh says. She's trying to appear "normal" for the masses, and in doing so, comes off as an overly-obsessive weirdo. She doesn't eat hamburgers either. Looking at her stick figure, I believe her. But you know she wants to, real bad. And she'll never admit to that either.

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