Friday, November 27, 2009

Fatal Attraction Wannabe

A couple nights ago, my boyfriend and I decided to watch Obsessed, starring none other than Beyoncé, because there was nothing else on TV, and we were hopeful. Hopeful it wouldn't suck. Why do we even have expectations? They only lead to disappointment. This was a half-assed attempt as some Fatal Attraction-esque  story, only much, much worse. It was painful, and yet I couldn't stop watching, I couldn't give up. I had unwavering faith that at some point, it had to get better. It didn't. And if you've seen the original Fatal Attraction, it will hurt even more.

I don't know why others try. Adrian Lynne nailed it. In 1987. It doesn't get any better than a psychotic Glenn Close, and Michael Douglas shitting himself over his indiscretion with a total whack job. It truly is a thing of beauty. So why do others even attempt a run at it? It's been done. To perfection.  

It pains me to say this because I think Beyoncé is an incredibly talented performer. But.... she should not act. She cannot act. Kinda like Madonna. Kick-ass performer, terrible actress. Oh Beyoncé, you tried, you really did but acting isn't for you. Please don't do it again. Stick to what you do best because you're so good at it. You shine. 

The would-be home wrecker in Obsessed doesn't even get it on with Beyoncé's on-screen husband. She tries, repeatedly, and fails. So you really can't buy into her crazy. There's no sympathy for her. She's just a nut job for no reason. Not that I'm justifying Glenn Close's crazy but at least the viewer could sympathize with her, however briefly, since the character she portrayed actually had steamy, consensual encounters with the philandering husband. And she can act. 

Filmmakers seem to have forgotten that actors really do need to know how to act. These days, if you're a celebrity, for whatever reason, they'll put you in front of a camera. Nuh-uh. Doesn't work. Fame won't save a crappy ass movie. And it didn't save Obsessed. The only redeeming part of this film was the chick-on-chick smack down at the end. Beyoncé pissed off and kicking some bony white bitch's ass - now that was entertaining.

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