La Lohan fought the law... and the law won.

As I was surfing the gossip sphere today, I couldn't help but notice this article on La Lohan's desperate attempts to return to L.A. from Cannes for a DUI hearing. Well, she didn't make it 'cause now there's a warrant for her arrest with bail set at $100,000. 

Begging friends for a private jet? Someone stole her passport? First of all, does she even have any friends left? Especially ones with private jets? Secondly, someone stole her passport just before she was about to go back to L.A.? COME ON. 

What the hell is La Lohan even doing at the Cannes Film Festival? She's some coked-up, crusty-crotch has been with a record. She has no film to promote. She has no career that would justify her presence there. How does she even get into parties? Is she the entertainment? As in she walks in, and everyone laughs. And who else would be dumb enough to wait until the last minute before circling half the globe to get to a hearing on time. 

Lindsay never should have left L.A. There's no reason for her to be anywhere else. Come to think of it, why is she still in L.A.? Lindsay should crawl back to where she came from. She is no longer relevant. She is not an actress. She is not a celebrity. She is Hollywood roadkill. Time to scrape her off the side of the highway and dispose of her in a humane manner, i.e. send her back to civilian life.

See? Roadkill.