I'm always keenly aware, when reading celebrity gossip, that it is the basest of literature but there are some days when gossip truly out-trashes itself. Here are a few recent headlines from The Huffington Post that demonstrate my point:
Jeremy Piven drops his phone in toilet at sushi restaurant
Wow. Really? It must've been a painfully slow news day because there is no excuse for this. Who the f*ck cares? Jeremy Piven caught in a threesome with a monkey and Tony Danza - now that's news!
Justin Bieber: My mom's not doing Playboy
Yowza. Justin Bieber should not have to comment on whether or not his mother is posing for Playboy. Apparently, it's not true and Justin's mother will not bare all in the famous mag. Understandably, Justin tweeted that this rumour "just grossed and weirded me out". Word.
Susan Sarandon to film ping-pong reality show
Huh? Since when do Oscar winners do reality TV? Obviously, I did not get the memo. Susan, you cannot possibly be that hard up for cash. Apparently, she owns a ping pong nightclub in New York City called SPiN. Ping pong. Nightclub. Cannot compute. I guess it's better than just sittin' around, snorting lines of coke. Who doesn't like ping pong?
Kim Kardashian to be immortalized in wax
This one just makes me want to hurt people. WTF? Kim Kardashian at Madame Tussauds? She's not a movie star or historical figure. Is this museum now admitting the likenesses of vapid fame whores? If that's the case, maybe Kate Gosselin or Jake Pavelka will be next. God help us.