Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Letters to D.

Dear D.,

Watched The Bachelorette last night. It wasn't quite the same without you... So, here's my report of the night's events:

Ali and her remaining suitors are now in Lisbon, Portugal - very pretty. I am jealous. Ali's first one-on-one date is with Roberto. It goes very well but she feels he's still a bit of a mystery. Whatever. Roberto is a good guy. We know this. At least we think we do. What I don't know, however, is what Ali's problem is.

Then, she has a two-on-one date with Frank and Ty. Awkward... Why does the show allow this? It is so painful to watch. Oh. Maybe that's why. Anyway, Ali found the date really uncomfortable. Duh, of course it was weird, unless you're into threesomes which she clearly is not. Ali spent some "alone" time with Ty first to make sure he wasn't too much of a "traditional" guy and wouldn't mind if she had a job and stuff. I thought he passed the test.

She then had alone time with Frank who revealed that he lives at home with his parents because he quit his job, moved to Europe for a while to go find himself or something, then came back and is currently unemployed. Despite all this, Ali still finds Frank funny and interesting.

Next, Ali has a one-on-one date with Kirk - the guy she apparently really likes to kiss. However, on the date she's very preoccupied and distracted. The thought that the "meet the parents" dates are coming up next seem to be stressing her out. Really? You're traveling around the world, you've got a bevy of hot guys pining for you, and you're stressing? Please. Can you say high maintenance? Ali is starting to annoy me. 

Her next one-on-one is with Chris L. She was having a difficult time understanding her feelings for him and thought their relationship was moving slowly. But then things got better when Chris opened up about his mom, who passed away, and gave Ali a pretty bracelet.

In the end, Ali sent Ty home, and she was wearing Chris L.'s bracelet during the rose ceremony. What could it possibly mean?

BUT, all this turned out to be a prelude for the "pièce de résistance" of the evening: an interview with Jake and Vienna. Holy crap! It was AWESOME. Vienna accused Jake of being emotionally abusive. Jake accused Vienna of cheating. Vienna called Jake a fame whore. Jake said he was "disgusted" by Vienna for selling him out. It was the crack cocaine of reality TV. 

Then, Vienna started talking about her dog and the host, Chris Harrison, cuts in and says something like "We don't really care about the dog." Turns out Chris is actually a cool guy. I like him now. It all pretty much ended when Vienna walked out of the interview, crying, calling Jake cruel, or something. This interview was the icing on the crap TV cake. I almost felt bad that I was enjoying it so much. Almost...

Hope you're having a fabulous time!

Miss you,


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