Monday, January 3, 2011

A pedophile's paradise

I know, I know... It's been a while since my last post. But, unless you live under a rock and hadn't noticed, it was CHRISTMAS TIME, and I have a LIFE people. Jeez... 

Well, now that we've got that out of the way, my "life" over the holidays consisted of numerous opportunities to watch heinously bad TV. I mean, even I had to lower my already egregiously mediocre standards to be able to withstand one particular program that assaulted even my moral sensibilities. This is saying a lot since, basically, I HAVE NONE.

The program in question is titled Toddlers and Tiaras and airs on The Learning Channel, the same illustrious network that airs Sarah Palin's Alaska. "Learning" channel my ass. This network seems to pride itself on displaying the most perverse and disturbing human behaviour, couching it in the guise of "learning". Yeah, learning what it takes to be a circus freak. No, wait, I like circus freaks. These people are far worse.

Imagine, if you will, morbidly obese, middle-aged women and men, some claiming to be former beauty queens (Ahem...), spending thousands of dollars to sexualize their infants and young children, dressing them in provocative outfits, fake hair pieces, fake teeth, spray-on tans and tons of makeup and hair spray. 

And as if this wasn't enough, drilling into their children (both boys and girls alike) that winning is good and losing is bad, and winning is predicated merely on physical attractiveness, greatly enhanced by fake appendages. I feel dirty writing this, that's how disturbing this show is. 

It's tantamount to child abuse, is what it is. These fat, ignorant f*cks are working out their control issues on their children in some totally whacked out pervy fairy world. 

Stop looking at me like that, I'm like, five.

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