Monday, June 20, 2011

OMG, I'm Jewish!

Yesterday started out like any other day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, I had my yoga pants on backwards while teaching a class ('cause I'm cool like that) and I discovered I'm Jewish.

Let me explain. I've always had what one might call a "prominent" nose. It has a certain curvature to it that's hard to miss. I was laughed at as a kid and have often felt self conscious about my schnoz. It's a family trait from my mother's side that I inherited. Case in point:

So, yesterday my boyfriend and I attended a Jewish / Catholic wedding. I know. You're thinking: "How is this possible?" It was also multilingual (English, French and Hebrew). I live in Canada. This kind of stuff happens all the time. But I digress. The ceremony was presided over by a female Jewish rabbi, or priestess or whatever they're called in the Jewish tradition. 

She was fabulous. Funny, classy, warm, beautiful, with the voice of an angel and a nose... like mine. I know, it's not politically correct to point out that Jewish noses are quite unique and easily recognized. But it's nevertheless true - it's a distinguishing feature of these fine people.

It was during this lovely ceremony, while watching this remarkable Jewess that it hit me - OMG, I'm Jewish. These are my people! No wonder I bailed on the Catholic Church - it was all wrong, like an ill-fitting dress. 

Now I have to figure out how to break the news to my French Canadian Catholic mother. It shouldn't be too difficult since she's pretty much abandoned the Catholic thing too. See, on some level, she knows too. 

I've decided that I'll need to do a full on search of my family history. I mean, how many French Canadian Jewish folks are out there? Actually, there could be quite a few. I really don't know much on the subject but I'm excited to find out.

However, if I decide to adopt the Jewish faith, I can't give up Christmas. If there's anything my Christian faith has taught me it's that those few weeks in December devoted to rabid consumerism, impossibly high expectations and superficial, awkward family shindigs are a must.

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