Yesterday started out like any other day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, I had my yoga pants on backwards while teaching a class ('cause I'm cool like that) and I discovered I'm Jewish.
Let me explain. I've always had what one might call a "prominent" nose. It has a certain curvature to it that's hard to miss. I was laughed at as a kid and have often felt self conscious about my schnoz. It's a family trait from my mother's side that I inherited. Case in point:
So, yesterday my boyfriend and I attended a Jewish / Catholic wedding. I know. You're thinking: "How is this possible?" It was also multilingual (English, French and Hebrew). I live in Canada. This kind of stuff happens all the time. But I digress. The ceremony was presided over by a female Jewish rabbi, or priestess or whatever they're called in the Jewish tradition.
She was fabulous. Funny, classy, warm, beautiful, with the voice of an angel and a nose... like mine. I know, it's not politically correct to point out that Jewish noses are quite unique and easily recognized. But it's nevertheless true - it's a distinguishing feature of these fine people.
It was during this lovely ceremony, while watching this remarkable Jewess that it hit me - OMG, I'm Jewish. These are my people! No wonder I bailed on the Catholic Church - it was all wrong, like an ill-fitting dress.
Now I have to figure out how to break the news to my French Canadian Catholic mother. It shouldn't be too difficult since she's pretty much abandoned the Catholic thing too. See, on some level, she knows too.
I've decided that I'll need to do a full on search of my family history. I mean, how many French Canadian Jewish folks are out there? Actually, there could be quite a few. I really don't know much on the subject but I'm excited to find out.
However, if I decide to adopt the Jewish faith, I can't give up Christmas. If there's anything my Christian faith has taught me it's that those few weeks in December devoted to rabid consumerism, impossibly high expectations and superficial, awkward family shindigs are a must.
1 comment:
Not to be rude, but....I think you managed to hit on like ten different stereotypes in less than six hundred words.
Not all Jews have 'prominent noses.' Those of us that do often face serious bullying for it, a constant reminder of otherness in a very Christian world.
If you don't know the terminology, please do the research. A female Jewish rabbi is called: a rabbi. She is not a priestess.
As for the nose thing...it's not a matter of being politically correct. It's a matter of respect. You're reducing Jews to physical characteristics that historically have been used to marginalize and oppress them. You will see tons of Nazi propaganda with a beaked nose representing an evil Jew coming to steal their good, white, Christian children. I don't care whether you are politically correct or not-that's your choice-but don't stereotype us and hide behind 'oh I'm fighting against oversensitive people!'
No, you're not Jewish. You might like some of our customs and ceremonies-I get it, they rock! But you aren't Jewish. You don't share in our joys and, most crucially, you don't share in our pains. You may have a distinctive nose, but that doesn't mean you know what it's like to be called 'kike' or to be told that your people are responsible for the death of Jesus, or that you personally are a greedy, evil rat.
As for the term Jewess? Strike it from your vocabulary. It's an offensive term used by people like Nazis to dehumanize Jewish women.
Also, if you want to keep Christmas, fine. BE CHRISTIAN. Don't take our culture for your own and pretend like you understand it, just because you went to a wedding and loved the ceremony. Being Jewish takes work. It takes study. It takes dedication and a deep respect for others.
I realize you intended no harm. Still, you must understand that the words you use are harmful. Don't stereotype us because you think it's cute. Don't pretend you understand us because you went to a single wedding and thought it was nice. You grew up in the dominant faith that controls most Western countries. I'm sure you've had struggles in your life, but you don't get to pretend you understand anything about Judaism because you've got a big nose and you saw two people get married.
Ignorance is sometimes more dangerous than downright hatred, because those who are ignorant are generally most susceptible to spreading hateful things without realizing they are hateful. I say this with no ill will towards you-I hope you are well. I also hope you will delete this post before someone finds it and starts referring to Jewish women they don't like as 'Jewesses,' or making fun of their friend who is Jewish and has a big nose, or starts celebrating Passover in Jesus's name because 'Jesus was a Jew, so I'm entitled to this!'
If you want to be Jewish, that's fine. It takes real work and years of learning. Please, though, do not take a culture and a people who have been stereotyped, attacked, murdered, and oppressed for centuries and write a cutesy post that perpetuates stereotypes while pretending to be besties with us. I write this response ten years later because I believe people to be capable of change and of educating themselves. You have the world at your fingertips. Use it. Best wishes in life, truly.
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