Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Fun with CNN Souvenirs - Episode 2

If you missed episode 1, click here

**These episodes are solely a product of my own imagination. Any resemblance whatsoever to actual events is purely coincidental.

Soledad: So, what did you find out?

Anderson: Nothing yet.

Soledad: Nothing? It's been weeks! What have you been doing?

Anderson: I have to establish a relationship first. Sanjay needs to know he can trust me.

Soledad: And how long will that take?

Anderson: I don't know. These things take time.

Soledad: Time is not a luxury I have. You know that. 

Anderson: I'm well aware of the situation. 

Soledad: Then what's the hold-up?

Anderson: I'm almost there. I can feel it. He'll open up to me any day now.

Soledad: "Any day now"? That's not good enough. I needed this information yesterday, last week even!

Anderson: Hey, back off, ok? I'm doing the best I can. 

Soledad: I beg to differ.

Anderson: You can always hire someone else to do your dirty work.

Soledad: Oh pooky, you know you can't get out of this one. 

Anderson: I could if I decided to come clean.

Soledad: Do you really want to do that?

Anderson: It's better than being under your thumb.

Soledad: Ahh, poor Andy. It's your own damn fault for getting yourself in this situation in the first place.

Anderson: There's always room for redemption.

Soledad: Ha! You think your nasty-ass wife will be forgiving? I highly doubt it.

Anderson: Hey, leave her out of this! 

Soledad: Ooh, touchy. Don't tell me you still have feelings for that wretched woman.

Anderson: I said, leave her out of this.

Soledad: Oh my God, you still love her. After everything she's done, you still love her.

Anderson: My marriage is none of your f*cking business. 

Soledad: Well, this changes the game a bit, doesn't it.

Anderson: I don't want to talk about it. 

Soledad: Fine. But I hired you to get things done, and you're sleeping on the job.

Anderson (to himself): More like sleeping with the job.

Soledad: What did you say?

Anderson: Nothing. 

Soledad (looking at her watch): I have to go. I'm expecting better news the next time we meet.

Anderson: Whatever.

Soledad: It's your life that hangs in the balance, not mine.

Anderson: We'll see about that.

Soledad: Is that a threat?

Anderson: No, it's just... conjecture. 

Soledad: Don't toy with me. I can make your life a living hell.

Anderson: What do you mean "can"? You are making my life a living hell.

Soledad: So sweet of you to say that. Ciao for now.

Anderson (mockingly): Ciao for now. 

Sanjay: I can't do this anymore.

Me: Sanjay, you have to. To save my marriage!

Sanjay: It's not all black and white anymore. (pause) I love him.

Me: What? But I thought...

Sanjay: I know what you thought, but...

Me: How... I mean....

Sanjay: I don't know. It's so... unexpected. I just... he's so...

Me: I know. 

Sanjay: I told him I loved him the last time we were together.

Me: What did he say?

Sanjay: He couldn't say he loved me back.

Me: I'm not altogether unhappy about that.

Sanjay: I understand. You're not... jealous?

Me: Sanjay, there are things I've done. Awful things. Anderson deserves some happiness, and you're giving him things right now that I can't.

Sanjay: But I can't keep doing this. It's tearing me apart. 

Me: Can you bear it just a little while longer? For me?

Sanjay: I'd do anything for you. You know that.

Me: Thank you. It'll all be worth it in the end, you'll see. I won't let you get your heart broken.

Sanjay: It's too late for that.

Me: Baby don't say that, you're making me sad.

Sanjay: Well, it's true. You of all people should understand how I feel.

Me: I do. But I'll make it all better. I promise. 

Sanjay: Do it fast, because I'm falling hard.

What information does Soledad want Anderson to extract from Sanjay? Why would Sanjay do anything for me? What does Anderson need to "come clean" about? Find out on the next episode of Fun with CNN Souvenirs.


Aimee said...

Okay, well, this is hands down the most entertaining thing that has happened to me all day long. That either means you're a comedic genius on par with the likes of Seth MacFarlane and Will Ferrell, or this Sunday has been about as productive as my semi-conscious elderly basset hound.....or both?

Sassy Stylings said...

@ Aimee: Ummm... I'm leaning toward comedic genius since it casts me in a good light, and, well, being a narcissist, I'm naturally drawn to anything that's about me :-)

Huge Family Guy fan that I am, that you would think of me as being even remotely in the same league as Seth MacFarlane makes me giddy with joy.

Adding Will Ferrell to that mix is the icing on my happy cake.

BTW, I have a soft spot for semi-conscious elderly basset hounds. How did you know?


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