The train wreck that was last night's Oscars telecast

I will begin my post-Oscar dissection with this lovely quote from my boyfriend, stating his feelings on last night's telecast: "Why are we watching this show with people we don't know, accepting awards we don't care about at an event that is irrelevant. Thank God there's a repeat of the Family Guy Christmas Special."

I must concur. Last night's Oscars ceremony was a complete disaster, probably the worst I've ever seen. As much as I like Anne Hathaway and James Franco, they fell flat as the show's hosts, as in flatlined. They were lifeless, without natural chemistry, painfully boring. Tragic, considering they're both very talented actors. However, having chosen them to host the Academy Awards was a mistake, a momentary lapse in sound judgment.

There was a mildly entertaining video montage to kick off the show highlighting the best picture nominees but as soon as the show went live, with Anne and James on stage, the whole thing fell apart. It was awful. I felt like the audience was laughing out of pity because frankly, why else would they be laughing? Nothing the hosts said or did was funny.

Another mistake: asking Kirk Douglas to present the Best Supporting Actress award. Yes, we all know Kirk is a Hollywood icon and we adore him. BUT, the man still suffers from devastating after effects of a stroke. His speech is slurred and erratic. This does not a good presenter make. If he was making a speech after receiving a lifetime achievement award, that would be different. I would have gladly and patiently listened to him. 

Dear Academy: please make sure your presenters can speak clearly and swiftly. Listening to Kirk Douglas trying to be funny was like listening to nails on a chalkboard. I know this may not be a politically correct statement to make but since when do I give a flying f*ck about political correctness?

The writers made the best acceptance speeches last night, notably Aaron Sorkin, for the screen adaptation of The Social Network and David Seidler for the original screenplay of The King's Speech. Those writers, they're a witty bunch. Colin Firth's speech after having won the Best Actor award was also pleasantly amusing, and, it's Colin Firth. Anything he says just sounds so... yummy.

Apart from a few scarce, barely entertaining moments, I sensed a tangible undercurrent of apathy at this year's Oscars, especially from a younger generation of actors such as Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. Perhaps these awards are slowly but surely losing their appeal and on their way to becoming relics of a past era.

If a repeat of the Family Guy Christmas Special is much more appealing than the Academy Awards, then perhaps slipping into insignificance is not a bad thing. And just to be clear, the Family Guy Christmas Special is a masterpiece, not to be easily outdone by beautifully adorned, self-congratulatory Hollywood glitterati.