Wednesday, March 2, 2011

An ode to Charlie Sheen

Since EVERYBODY is talking about Charlie Sheen and his very public implosion, I thought I'd put my two cents in, 'cause I'm down with the homies, if ya know what I mean. Actually, I don't even know what I mean. It just sounded cool. Anyway... here's a poem, for Charlie. 

N.B.: This little ditty is a combination of fact and fiction. In other words, some of it is true, and some of it is made up so the lines would rhyme. 'Cause I'm cool like that.

An ode to Charlie Sheen

You were born Carlos Irwin Estevez
Such a shy and quiet boy
Loving toy race cars and Pez
The simple things brought you joy

You were a high school baseball star
Making Super-8 films in your car
Then you got kicked out for bad attendance
And swore you'd become an actor as vengeance

You went on to work on Wall Street
And even City Hall
Replacing Michael J. Fox 
Then CBS gave you a call

Cast as Charlie Harper
A character loosely based on you
Two and a Half Men was born
And to you it would be true

Until the day you slammed its creator
When it was evident you were losing your shit
So they canceled the show and called you a traitor
And you resorted to your quick wit

In the meantime you fathered five children
And married all of three times
Now you're living with porn stars, and that's bitchin'
But they took your kids away for alleged crimes

You've trashed hotel rooms and partied hard
And were arrested on Christmas Day
Now the police say you've got to stay in your yard
Via a restraining order, come what may

What happened to you Charlie Sheen
So handsome and so lean
You sniffed too much white powder, got louder and louder
And on self-destruction you are keen

1 comment:

Tom said...



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