There are rare moments, when I catch a glimpse of something on TV, and say to myself: "I did NOT just see that!". I recently had one of those moments when I spotted a commercial for lip gloss. Oh sorry, a lip "stain" and "balm" from a Revlon line called Just bitten. One of the shades is called Twilight.
Are you f*cking kidding me? The depths to which capitalism will sink never cease to amaze me. Apparently, the makeup industry has seized on the current obsession with vampire-related literature, films and television.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love the vampire thing, and loved it way before it went all tween mainstream. But even I can't wrap my head around launching a line of lip products based on being a blood buffet.
The last nail in this vampire coffin? The spokesperson is Jessica Biel, uttering the words "Have you ever been bitten?" Puke. Here's the commercial, for your viewing pleasure:
Dear Revlon: Really? REALLY? You morons were so desperate for ideas that you came up with this? A line of makeup products insinuating that the violent removal of blood from one's body is something to be saught after? WTF?
Now, you may be thinking to yourself: "Maybe it's a metaphor for being bitten by love. There's nothing wrong with that." It's not. Don't kid yourself. These bastards know exactly who they're targeting and what that tagline refers to.
You may think I'm being extreme but put yourself in a twelve-year-old's shoes. You want to fit in. You want to be cool. Next thing you know, we'll be hearing about the latest teen craze of "death by biting". Don't think it can't happen - they were into choking themselves for a while.
Bite this, Revlon.