If undercover agents were rated by movie characters I would be Bridget Jones. My boyfriend and I recently stayed at a resort complex in the Dominican Republic comprised of four sections: 1) the one for people with money, 2) the one for people who think they have money, 3) the one for people who live within their means, and 4) the one for people who don't want to spend money but want a vacation.
We were at the resort in category #2. You'd think this would have been enough for us. One evening, as we were engaging in our after-dinner stroll, we stumbled upon the boundary between our resort and the "rich people" resort. There was an opening, an unguarded border. We decided to go AWOL and enter into forbidden territory, to see how the other half lives.
This is where I would have failed my undercover agent exam. This is when I got nervous and began to lurch awkwardly onto the off limits property, shoving my hand and, more importantly, my wrist and section-specific coloured bracelet into my pocket. If spotted, our fluorescent orange bracelets would give our riff-raff status away and we'd be booted out like yesterday's trash, shoved back into our resort with an admonishing finger.
Under cover of the night sky, we explored the pool area, and were so bold as to lie down on one of their fancy outdoor beds with canopy. Then, we made our way to the hotel and peered into the fancy restaurants and shops, trying to look like we belonged. Luckily, I was wearing my Lacoste knock-off shirt (which I got for 12 bucks, thank you very much) so I fit right in with this crowd. Except for my constant look of panic at being found out, they never would have known we were from the "other side".
Kudos to my boyfriend for totally keeping his cool. He even wanted to try and get some drinks at the bar but I couldn't do it. The thought of an unpleasant scene, and being thrown out was too much for me. I couldn't handle the potential embarrassment.
We managed a pretty thorough tour of the property given our renegade status, then headed back to our neck of the beach to go watch CNN's Showbiz Tonight. More on that tomorrow...
Oh fluorescent orange bracelet, you would give me away like a shotgun at a wedding.