Tuesday, June 22, 2010

OMFG! I SO called this

Well, well, well. It's finally happened. Frankly, I'm surprised they lasted this long. Jake (the fame whore) Pavelka and Vienna (the crusty-crotch skank) Girardi have split. When I came across this juicy tidbit I felt a moment of sublime elation and wanted to run up and down the hall, alerting my co-workers of this late-breaking news. Then it hit me. I'm probably the only loser here who watches The Bachelor and now The Bachelorette.

This show is 2 for 19 in producing successful matches. 2 for 19. Ouch. Then again, how can you possibly find a life partner when you're courting each other in such unrealistic conditions. I mean, you get to live in a mansion with a bunch of people, and go frolicking in fun, exotic places. You're away from your job, family and friends, therefore freed of your daily obligations and any semblance of reality. It's a world where pillows, candles and wine seem to magically appear in just about every setting.

How are you supposed to "get to know someone" under such false pretenses? I suspect this show continues purely for ratings. It doesn't really matter how successful it is at producing actual, long-term couples as long as suckers like me keep tuning into our weekly dose of asinine drama.

I suppose I feel somewhat vindicated by the short life of Jake and Vienna's relationship because I knew from the start it would never last. If Jake really wanted a long-term, serious relationship, he would have chosen Tenley, the runner-up. Although, I'm glad he didn't. She's too good for him. Since the end of Jake's tenure on The Bachelor, he's revealed the extent of his fame whoring aspirations and Tenley deserves better than that. 

Vienna was a hot piece of ass, and that's about it. Apart from a physical chemistry, Jake and Vienna seemed hardly compatible. Vienna only made it as far as she did because she was a ratings darling, the one everyone loved to hate. Jake knew this, and milked that cow for all she was worth. And now he's done. He's landing acting gigs and no longer needs Vienna to steer his fame train. 

This almost makes up for Bieber fever. Almost.

 On the wings of fame...

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