Spiritual accessories

Over this past (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend, we had the privilege of visiting one of the most well-known and historically significant cathedrals in Canada: Saint-Joseph's Oratory in Montreal. It is a very sacred place, obviously, thick with religiosity. 

Many pilgrims the world over make their way to the Oratory to partake of a piece of Christian history, in the New World. (Ok, that's an assumption on my part but guessing from the amount of tour buses in the parking lot, I must be right.)

Then there was me. I had been to the Oratory many years ago on a school trip and remembered being in awe of architecture of such gargantuan proportions. This time around, my fun really began in the gift shop. To witness the commodification of religion was a surreal experience. 

And I, being the skilled consumer that I am, took full advantage of the opportunity to avail myself of spiritual accessories in the hopes of augmenting my chances of being admitted into heaven. 

Exhibit A: the Saint-Joseph Oratory pen

So that the words I write may be imbued with holiness...

Exhibit B: the Saint-Joseph Oratory Christmas ornament:

Because Christmas is all about presents, I mean, Christ.

... and Mary and Joseph not doing it, and having a kid. 

Exhibit C: the Saint-Joseph medallion pocket card

This is what it should have looked like...

Until I defiled it and cut out the medallion, thinking it was jewelery and that I had the perfect silver chain to put it on and DAMMIT why is it encased in plastic that I have to bite and pull and peel off to get my GODDAM medallion out?  Turns out it wasn't meant to be bling after all. It was a pocket card with a lovely prayer on the back, that I hacked to pieces, filled with lustful vanity because that medallion would look so good with most of my outfits. Will Saint-Joseph still protect me even if I cut out his medallion? That sounds dirty. Am I going to hell?