Fascination with flatulence

Best article title ever: "Oops! Jessica Simpson farts during business meeting." This is one of the "exclusive" stories currently on Us Magazine.com. Of course, it's one of the top five most read stories given our endless fascination with flatulence. Click here for more details. 

This isn't the first time "fart" and "Jessica Simpson" have been bed fellows. Apparently, on her reality show Newlyweds with Nick Lachey, she let one rip on camera, commenting "You love my stinky ass." Some things should never be shared on camera. 

Come to think of it, that retched show should never have aired. I tried to watch it a couple times. Painful, so painful. I wondered if Jessica was acting or if she really was that irritating and clueless. And if so, why the f*ck would we give her the time of day? A lamp post is more interesting than Jessica Simpson. Maybe she knows this and that's why she's farting in public. To divert attention from her obvious shortcomings.

Although, kudos to Jessica for owning up to her farts. That shows some kind of... integrity. There are plenty of fart deniers out there. You know who you are. You let one rip in a car or an elevator, usually a silent one. Shortly thereafter, people's faces start contorting, and you play along with them. "Oh my God! Who let one rip?!" instead of uttering a simple "Sorry. Couldn't help it."

However, a successful fart evasion technique I learned from a pro is the B & R (bomb and run). If you find yourself strolling through a public place, like an aisle in a grocery store, and have emitted noxious gas (the "bomb"), simply leave the scene immediately, in a casual manner, as if nothing happened (the "run"). Now it's someone else's problem. 

Yesterday: musings on the meaning of life and death. Today: farts.

Six Feet Under my emotions

There are times when I realize television shows can have a higher purpose than mere diversion. I recently watched the last four episodes of the final season of Six Feet Under, one after the other, all in one shot. It was probably the most intense four hours of TV watching I can remember. 

I'd originally seen these episodes about four years ago and basically remembered what happened. Back then, I watched the entire last season in two days. It's strange what time does to you. I remember them being somewhat sad and, as always with this show, riveting, but not much more than that. I was not prepared for the emotional upheaval the second time around.

I don't know if it's age or different life circumstances but for four hours, I cried like a baby. And just when I thought I was done, I cried some more. Six Feet Under is not merely a TV show about the Fisher family's funeral business. It plumbs the depths of the most basic and universally frightening existential concepts: life and death, and still manages to be humourous and entertaining. 

The same thing happened not too long ago when I watched Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer a second time. Not only did I have a brand new appreciation of Season 5 in its entirety, but the few episodes dealing with the death of Buffy's mother (ironically, given the nature of the show, by natural causes), moved me to tears. 

My natural penchant for philosophical enquiry keeps me glued to shows like these, despite my deep-seated fear of the inevitability of death and the temporary nature of everything, that surfaces when exposed to these themes.

One thing I do know, in those moments when I'm sitting on the couch, clutching my faux-fur blanket, tears streaming down my face, raw with emotion, is that this is TV in its highest form, a true art, gliding past superficiality and exposing the soft underbelly of humanity - not to torment, but to tell the story of our shared experience.

Is the end near for this celebrity brand?

My dearest Sassies, it's one thing to read something in a bottom-feeding gossip rag. It's an entirely different matter when gleaning information from a respected national newspaper such as the Globe and Mail. Sure, the Globe is totally right-leaning and I'm a bleeding heart Liberal. Politics aside, entertainment news is entertainment news.

This morning my eye caught this juicy headline: "Nothing could be better than an end to this tabloid affair." I knew right away what writer Lynn Crosbie was referring to. And my day improved substantially. Nothing has been confirmed... yet. But it's coming. I can feel it. 

I mentioned to my boyfriend several weeks ago that every time I saw recent photos of these two, they looked miserable. He, regretting the day he fell for crazy; she, hungry, and therefore generally bitter. Hungry people aren't happy people. But I digress.

Of course, People.com has the glossed-over, publicist-approved version. Sources say it's not true. They've been spotted recently having a romantic dinner together. Uh-huh.

As Ms. Crosbie aptly pointed out, they were notably absent at the Golden Globes, and he attended friend George Clooney's telethon for Haiti alone. Sure, maybe it's just their busy schedules keeping them apart. Or they're avoiding public appearances together because the shit's about to hit the fan.

And apparently, she's had a steamy tryst with someone other than her partner. Not surprising given her track record. Did he really think she would change? Femme fatale, mon ami, femme fatale. When this blows up, it's gonna be huge, soooo huge.

It's worth it to read both articles, just to compare:

Globe and Mail article

People.com article

Beating the January blues

January feels like it's pressing down on me, so heavy. My most primal instincts are screaming: hibernation! Sleep, alot! And yet, life goes on with utter disregard for the seasonal cycles of nature. Translation: I'm dragging my sorry ass around these days. So today I'm going for the record of shortest blog post since my energy reserves are woefully lacking but I'm dedicated to you, my readers:

Watched Season 5 of Weeds over the weekend. This show is on f*cking FIRE!  Writing: sublime. Acting: superb. Season finale: major cliffhanger. What more could a girl want?

Montag muses on mortality

I'm tired these days, so tired. I think I'm supposed to be hibernating. But I came across this gem, and my spirits were lifted. Best article title ever: "Heidi Montag tries to move her face, can't". LOVE it. You must watch the video. The Access Hollywood clip is the pièce de résistance: dramatic music, shot of dark, ominous hospital hallway, like she was the victim of some kind of tragic accident. Please. 

Then there's the interview. Heidi says so many stupid things, I don't even know where to start. Kudos to Billy Bush for trying to be professional. You can tell he's thinking she's a total wingnut. 

I had no idea Heidi was a "vocal" Christian either. Sweet Jesus. Billy made a good point: isn't all this plastic surgery basically a rejection of what God gave her? Her answer: she thinks perhaps it's a gift from God, given her chosen profession. Of what, fame whore? 

Like, oh my God, she almost died. And she like, can't really move her face yet 'cause it's still healing. Her doctor was upset she "unveiled" her face so soon since apparently, it's still a little swollen and doesn't yet reflect the final outcome of the surgeries. Does he mean that, eventually, she'll be able to move it?

This idiocy, it kills me. It's killing Billy Bush too.

Jennifer Aniston is happy! She really, really is! Really!

"Fun, Flirty & 40!" Jennifer Aniston is, once again, gracing the latest cover of People magazine. It's an improvement on Kate Gosselin's hair extensions but still... It reeks of desperation.

With phrases like: "Happier and hotter than ever, she's loving the single life", you know the opposite is true. You know Jennifer desperately wants to settle down, find "the one", have babies, and try to catch up to her ex whose progeny has grown impressively since their divorce and his liaison with Angelina Jolie.

If Jennifer would stop dating loser lotharios like John Mayer and Gerard Butler, she might have a chance at fulfilling her true longings. So far, her track record for judiciously choosing a male mate is woefully lacking. 

Sure, she's rich and beautiful and has a personal chef prepare fabulous, healthy meals for her friends (a fact that has also been shoved in our faces to prove she's happy) but one cannot help but feel sorry for her. 

Not because she's single but because we know she doesn't want to be. Hence all the hooting and hollering about her "wonderful" single life. If she was truly content with the status quo, she wouldn't feel the need to constantly reaffirm that she's happy. We get it already. 

Instead of trying to convince us she's satisfied with her life, Jennifer may want to focus on making a good movie for a change. That's something that hasn't happened in a while. 

She needs to dig herself out of this rom-com shit hole she's fallen into and do something different, something daring. I think Jen's got the acting chops to pull it off. She's just not trying these days. I guess that's because her energies are focused elsewhere.

The Hurt Locker hurt me

Last night, my boyfriend and I watched The Hurt Locker, a critically acclaimed, rumoured to be Oscar-worthy movie. Well, my dearest Sassies, we were sorely disappointed. Warning: if you really enjoyed this movie, reading the rest of this post may be somewhat unpleasant.

The movie began, and I waited. Waited to see what everyone was talking about, this supposedly brilliant, near-perfect war movie. That moment never came. It was a series of bland, repetitious scenes. That's all. 

Soldiers find bombs; macho, daring, renegade soldier disarms bombs. Interspersed among these scenes were completely unoriginal gun fighting scenes: in the streets of Baghdad, in the desert, blah, blah, blah. And the icing on this dry, tasteless cake was the tacky male machismo. Please. We were starting to think this was a pro-America, pro-war movie. Somehow, I don't think that was the point.

It's one of those instances where I'm scratching my head wondering what all the critics loved about this film. I would categorize it as a piece of crap. I was bored and completely untouched by the events unfolding before me.  Unless that was the point - to demonstrate that we are now bored with and untouched by war. If that's the case, then this film was a success. 

Apocalypse Now, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, The Pianist. These were war movies. They brought something new to the table, grabbed hold of you, and made you look at the ravages of war. Not so with The Hurt Locker. It felt like a promotional video for the American military.

We sat through the whole thing, hoping against hope that it would get better. It didn't. Even Ralph Fiennes' brief cameo couldn't save this movie. Once it was over, I declared that if The Hurt Locker wins Best Picture at the Oscars this year, I would throw myself down our stairs. If there's anything I've learned from this, it's never to trust movie critics. Those are two hours of my life I'll never get back.

Celebs stepping up to help Haiti

There are so few class acts in the celebesphere that I feel compelled to underline their good deeds when the occasion presents itself. 

Sandra Bullock has donated $1 million to Haiti relief, following the lead of George Clooney and Brangelina. That is some serious dough. These are examples of celebs stepping up to the plate when called to do so by devastating events. They have the means and influence to make a difference and some use these wisely. 

I've always liked Sandra Bullock. She's a gifted comédienne and strikes me as a person with integrity which is so rare in show business. She's also a bona fide celebrity, not one of those fame whoring faux celebs who are too numerous to count.

George Clooney and Wyclef Jean are also organizing a telethon to air this Friday evening at 8 pm across multiple networks to collect funds for several non-profit aid agencies on the ground in Haiti. They've gathered a few of their famous friends to help out.

Events such as the Haiti earthquake certainly put things in perspective. It's a reminder that the world does not revolve around celebrities and their latest movie/TV show/conquest/divorce/plastic surgery, etc..., and that other people on this planet are merely surviving or doing critical work toward the betterment of humanity with no publicist to advertise them, no makeup artist to beautify them, no stylist to dress them and no agent to represent them. 

It also calls into question our values as a society. We readily acquiesce to entertainers and athletes being paid ludicrous amounts of money while doctors, teachers, firefighters, police officers, aid workers, etc... are paid a pittance. 

It's a good thing loaded celebs are stepping up. Frankly, we've given them that responsibility. They're the ones with the serious coin, and that's our doing. 

For my Canadian readers, if you'd like to contribute to the aid effort for Haiti, the following organizations have been recommended by the Department of Foreign Affairs:

Canadian Red Cross www.redcross.ca

The Humanitarian Coalition – www.thehumanitariancoalition.ca

Unicef Canada www.unicef.ca

Doctors Without Borders https://msf.donorportal.ca

Top 10 Golden Globe moments

Like there would be any question about it... of course I watched the Golden Globe awards last night. Well, most of them. I skipped the last hour since 10 pm is now my self-imposed weeknight bedtime. It's a new thing I'm trying this year - adequate rest. But I digress. Back to the matter at hand. Here are my observations of last night's telecast:

1 - LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Ricky Gervais as the host. Every one of his bits made me laugh out loud. The man's got balls. I like that. He did not shy away from penis humour or from taking the Hollywood glitterati, not to mention NBC, to task. I don't ever want to know again what this awards ceremony would be like without him. 

2 - My girl crush Tina Fey did not disappoint. Best quote ever: "God is crying for NBC." This was her answer on the red carpet when asked about the rain. I adore this woman. 'Nuff said.

3 - John Lithgow wins best supporting actor for his guest appearance in the 4th season of Dexter. He was one of those nominees I was hoping would win. He creeped the shit out of me with his performance in Dexter, as I knew he would - it was a well-deserved win. Bravo, Mr. Lithgow.

4 - Michael C. Hall wins best actor in a dramatic series for his portrayal of the title character in Dexter. YES. I'm a huge fan of this brilliant show, and I've watched Michael be nominated numerous times and lose. He's incredibly talented and truly deserved this win. 

5 - Toni Collette wins best actress in a comedy for the United States of Tara. Hands down, no contest. My girl Tina was in this category as well but Toni pulls off some truly incredible shit in this show so really, it had to go to her.  

6 - George Clooney signing autographs in the rain. This guy is so classy. While the media pundits were trying to chase him down on the red carpet, George was signing autographs, sans umbrella, for his fans. Oh yeah, and he's organizing a telethon for victims of the Haiti earthquake. This dude is the shit. 

7 - Watching celebs smugly answer questions from the media on the red carpet. Like they're too good for this. Please. If it weren't for the media, you wouldn't be a celebrity! Sure, they ask totally retarded, irrelevant questions but they're your vehicle to international stardom. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. 

8 - Seeing Sophia Loren and Helen Mirren looking utterly ravishing. These women, they were breathtaking. Their dresses fit them like a glove. They had curves, you know, those female curves women used to have before this obsession with thinness. DAMN, they were hot. They take the "age" out of "ageing".

9 - Christoph Waltz winning best supporting actor in a drama for Inglourious Basterds. Yes, Brad Pitt was the "big name" attached to this movie, but Christoph Waltz was the glue that held it together, the one that sticks in your mind long after the film is over. Brilliant performance.

10 - Although I didn't see this portion of the telecast, I can attest that there was no other choice. The Hangover wins best comedy picture. I had no idea what to expect when I went to see this movie last summer. It was comedic gold, f*cking hilarious. No big names, just some gutsy, beautifully ridiculous performances and a good story. Who says you need A-list celebs to make a movie a hit. Story is what counts people, STORY.

Perfection perceived as portal to personal pride

Heidi Montag, you f*cking idiot. Have you heard about this? If not, click here. Just a few weeks ago, I posted an article on Brittany Murphy's death which may have been attributed to the pressures of looking like a "perfect" Hollywood starlet. Now this. It's simply disheartening. Do we learn nothing from Hollywood casualties? People are DYING to be "perfect" and now I have to hear about Heidi's TEN plastic surgery procedures? WTF?

She used to look like a person, now she looks like a droid. Bland, unoriginal, unremarkable. Like a thousand other Barbie-esque beauties. No distinguishing features. No wow factor.

She claims she wanted "to become the best me". Sweet mother of God. If going under the knife is the path to self-acceptance, we're all in serious trouble. I'm not against plastic surgery, in principle, for victims of accidents who've been left seriously scarred or children born with cleft palates. 

But voluntarily getting sacs of fluid stuffed in your breasts that will need to be replaced in 10-15 years and might leak in the meantime because you're feeling insecure is just sad. Fake boobs don't even look real. Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

And that's just one of Heidi's ten procedures. Think of the people you find most memorable - there's always something about them that is unique, that stands out. Why would you want to erase what makes you an original?

If you're still thinking elective plastic surgery isn't so bad, read this. A culture that promotes such a narrow view of what the human body should look like is seriously ill. There are six billion or so people on the planet. Somehow, I don't think we were all meant to look the same.

NBC execs acting like wankers... again

Note to Jay Leno: if you want to retire, than retire. Don't stick around to host some shmucky talk show that will now be displacing one of TV's longest running programs. 

Yeah, Conan got a raw deal. Imagine if they'd canceled Seinfeld after Season 3. It was actually during Season 4 that the show really found its audience and catapulted to fame. That's what NBC is doing to Conan O'Brien. He's only had a mere seven months as host of The Tonight Show. Give the guy a chance!

F*cking NBC. They screwed Letterman over royally as well. Remember that? Everyone expected David Letterman to take over The Tonight Show from Johnny Carson but no, NBC gave it to Jay Leno. I have nothing against Jay but the whole thing smelled of deceit. 

Then David astutely changed networks, and now has a long-running, wildly successful late night talk show on CBS. Does NBC like to shoot itself in the foot? So you're having some ratings issues. Is that an excuse to act like total dumbasses? Be smart about this, not hasty to react and make shockingly unwise decisions that put you in a very bad light.

Apparently, Conan is refusing to comply and his departure from The Tonight Show is imminent. Can you blame him? I'd probably do the same thing. If Leno wanted to stay on television, then why not keep hosting The Tonight Show until he was ready to retire for good. He can always do standup if he misses showbiz. 

The fact that NBC gave Leno a prime-time lame-ass talk show makes no sense to me. And that they're now f*cking around with his successor to keep him and his shitty show on the air smacks of faithlessness toward long-time, dedicated employees. If history repeats itself, as it is prone to do when TV executives don't learn from their mistakes, Conan will land on another network and soon overshadow his predecessor. Karma's a bitch.

True confessions: I'm watching the new season of The Bachelor

This is what happens when there's absolutely nothing on TV. I am now watching The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love. I never thought this day would come, when I would stoop so low. I'm ashamed - mostly because I find myself actually entertained by this drivel, and not reviling it. 

The Bachelor this time around is Jake Pavelka, some handsome, pilot dude. He seems nice enough. Sadly, he's stuck with a bevy of insanely desperate women. Probably more insane than desperate. 

This one contestant, Michelle, frightens me. She's got the crazy eyes. The ones that open a little too wide and reveal a dark, bottomless abyss from which there is no escape. Also, her desperation is so obvious, you feel she's most likely going to resort to illegal measures to make sure she gets the guy, i.e. eliminating her competition any way she can. She's clearly unstable. I'm spooked just thinking about her. 

On this week's episode, Rozlyn, one of the contestants, got the boot for having an "inappropriate" relationship with a staffer. Translation: she banged someone on the crew. When confronted about this, she claimed that her personal life was none of their business. Well, in this case, dumbass, it is. If you're on a TV show to try and become some guy's wife, and you're f*cking the staff behind his back, it doesn't bode well.

Most of the women on this show frighten me, either by their apparent instability, downright childishness or lack of intellect. There may be a couple exceptions but I'll have to keep watching to be able to distinguish them from the crazies. 

There's something about the whole concept of this show that doesn't sit well with me, and yet I can't look away. Like a bloody, messy, casualty-causing accident.

Mediocrity for the masses

My boyfriend and I were in line at the grocery store when I noticed an article on the cover of Hello! Canada describing Elisabetta Canalis as the woman who may have "tamed" George Clooney. Why does George need to be "tamed"? Again with the marriage bullshit. 

George is a successful, talented, and seemingly happy guy. If he wants to remain single for the rest of his life and continue dating beautiful women, what the hell is wrong with that? Have we learned nothing from the Tiger Woods debacle?

On another note, I watched the MuchMusic video countdown the other night with my step-daughter. For my non-Canadian readers, MuchMusic is Canada's version of MTV. I haven't watched the countdown in at least a decade. Back in the day, I was a huge MuchMusic fan. Watched it all the time. It was cutting edge.

Sweet mother of God. What has happened to the music industry? I watched video after video that looked the same and sounded the same. They fell into one of two categories: generic techno beat to rap lyrics or candy ass melodrama. 

It was so bad, I think I would have rather poked needles in my eyes - it would have been more fun. Even the hoochy dance moves were the same - required shot of round booty gyrating in your face while male pimp-like singer croons about gettin' some.

Then there was Nick Jonas and Justin Bieber. Their videos were so completely sappy and unoriginal, I was beside myself. They were so fifteen years ago - recycled crap. And this Justin kid looks like he's ten. I don't buy it.

Is this the death of originality and risk? The studio's lame mass marketing versus the artist's vision? If that's the case, then lame mass marketing is winning this one, hands down - an assembly line of unimaginative pop music. 

La Lohan marred by fashion plagiarism

La Lohan is in trouble, yet again. This time she's being accused of copying already existing designs for her new clothing line 6126. I'm really wanting to give up on this child. 

Again, I ask the question: why do celebrities, with no relevant education or experience, think they can miraculously become fashion designers? Because they wear designer clothes? Please. It's like saying I can fly a plane because I travel in them. How much sense does that make?

Why does this girl get any air time at all? Every time I see some new misadventure she's involved in, my irritation with her and our fascination with talentless, fame whoring twats grows. Can we not think of anyone more interesting to waste our breath on? I mean, really. Lindsay is beyond has-been. She inspires pity and cringing. At this point in her life, she's an abject failure. 

Lindsay, I've given you this advice before and I'll say it again: it's time for you to get out of the spotlight, live off the celeb grid for a long while, go reinvent yourself. That way, you might have a chance. Otherwise, forget it. Your spiral will continue to move downward and you'll be an object of ridicule for years to come. 

You reek of desperation and it stinks. Do yourself and us a favour, and go clean yourself up.

Kate's new hair and Charlie's new lair

Today is the kind of day when Kate Gosselin's new hair extensions are the cover story in the latest issue of People magazine. WTF? This is news? Even in the celeb gossip realm, it's weak. It gives new meaning to slow news day. Kate claims she's "starting over", and her new "do" is part of the new her. Please. 

Long hair, short hair, she's still a fame whoring douche. People at People, get real. This is not a leading story. It's a short blurb that should appear in the last pages of your magazine under the ads for fortune tellers and the latest miracle diet.

Since I was away over the holidays, I only found out today that Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day in an apparent domestic violence debacle. Best quote ever, by his spokesperson: "Do not be mislead by appearance. Appearance and reality can be as different as night and day. It would benefit everyone not to jump to any conclusion." 

Um, if the cops show up at your place, arrest you and book you for "second-degree assault, menacing and criminal mischief", what exactly are we supposed to think? Those darn cops are at it again, arresting people for shits and giggles. I'll have to try that practical joke someday, it's a good one!

Don't get me wrong, I don't believe the cops are always right, by any means. But that quote is basically saying "It's not what you think." Really? 'Cause I'm guessing Charlie's wife would have preferred to spend Christmas Day with her husband instead of having him arrested. So some kind of bad mojo went down, and it only gets worse when your rep tries to deny the obvious. These PR people are an insult to my intelligence. BUSTED.

The Classic Hollywood Sellout

I'm venturing into sensitive territory today since I live to stir the pot and cause upheaval. It's what I do. Recently, I was watching Four Christmases with Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn. I was thoroughly enjoying it until the classic Hollywood sellout moment. A perfectly happy, childless, unmarried couple must do one of two things to fulfill a socially acceptable narrative: get married or have children. This caused me to wonder if most movies are financed by the multi-billion dollar wedding industry or the Republican Party.

It also happened in the film He's Just Not That Into You. If you've seen it, you'll recall the storyline between Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck. Perfectly happy, unmarried couple. Actually happier than their married friends in the movie. Oh, but wait. If Ben's character didn't want to marry Jennifer's, something must be wrong. Maybe he's just not that into her.

You may note here, that in real life, both Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston are divorced.

George Carlin asked us to "question everything", and he was a pretty insightful guy. So here goes... If the institution of marriage has a 50% failure rate, and of the 50% that are successful, a percentage of those couples aren't in thriving relationships or are dealing with infidelity and/or abuse, why is marriage being sold as a prerequisite to happiness?

Same goes for having children. What is this overwhelmingly sanctimonious idea that a woman, or man for that matter, is not complete if they don't procreate? Biology, you say? Survival of the species? There are millions of starving, homeless children around the world. Does each and every female really need to make more? 

Elaine Lui, of Lainey Gossip fame, appeared in a Maclean's article with her husband, discussing their decision not to have children. She received hate mail. Corinne Maier's book, 40 good reasons not to have children, was met with a firestorm of criticism from the self-righteous mommies of the world.

I myself decided long ago not to have children. The common assumptions about this decision are that I : 1) am lazy, 2) am selfish and 3) hate children in general, none of which are true. It's simply a decision I made. 

So why are the childless held in such contempt? Is it because our presence causes others to question their decisions? If anything, I know my own mind, and feel no need to give in to societal pressures to conform, especially when it comes to such a crucial, life-changing decision.  

Having children makes you a better consumer. Think about who's selling parenthood to you.

I have friends who are married and friends who are not. I have friends who are parents and friends who are not. There is not one who is better or "more complete" than another. They are all amazing, for different reasons. 

My sister-in-law nailed it when she said what it really comes down to is respect of people's decisions. Isn't that what the feminist movement was fighting for? The right to choose and have that choice respected, and not denigrated for failing to fit into a narrow view of what a fulfilling life should consist of?

In case you're wondering, I'm in a blissfully happy, long-term, committed relationship with a wonderful man. We have no plans to marry. He has two fabulous teenage daughters. I do not hate them. Quite the contrary, actually.

Old News = Good News

Ola my Sassies! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. If not, I hope you successfully survived the holidays, and are breathing a sigh of relief that they're over. Normal life can resume once again, whatever that is...

I have not yet dipped my toe into the gossip-sphere since being wrapped up in the holiday season but have a few observations nonetheless. My boyfriend and I had pretty much watched all the new seasons of our favorite shows. Note to The Movie Network: where is Season 5 of Weeds? But I digress. Since having blown through all our options, I thought it might be fun to watch Six Feet Under again since The Movie Network decided to make it available for viewing.

Sometimes watching reruns can be tedious and disappointing. Not in this case. It was a revelatory experience, and exposed the dark side of my TV addiction. Once I start watching these episodes, I can't stop. Literally. I would stay up all night if I could. I tried, and failed. I made it to 1 am. 

I was reminded of what a freakin' amazing show this is. The sublime acting, the beautiful way in which it's shot that makes me want to move to Southern California, and the universal philosophical themes it explores. Damn, it's good TV. If you haven't seen Six Feet Under, it's worth the effort and the time. If you loved American Beauty, you'll adore this show - it was created by the same writer, Alan Ball.

Also noteworthy, on the way to a day of skiing, my boyfriend and I heard a discussion on a talk radio show about Tiger Woods. The question was: can he ever recover from this scandal? Duh. Of course he can, and he will. Why? Because collectively, we have an attention deficit disorder and a short memory. Once Tiger wins his next championship title, all will be forgiven. 

Sure, there may be snickers in the crowd, and the occasional tasteless joke but that's it. His fame can only increase. That it temporarily morphed into infamy will only ensure he remains a household name. The sponsors Tiger lost will return when they realize this scandal is old news and he can still play golf.

On another note, I have a biggest fan. I have arrived.