Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Celine wants a baby, Jen wants privacy, and Angelina wants a diversion

Sometimes it feels like I'm chasing my tail, circling around the same issues. This is the latest People magazine cover. As we say in "bon français": tabarnak! 

Do I feel any sympathy for Céline Dion? Hell no! Hormone injections? Multiple failed IVFs? Painful tests? Going to try until it works? WTF? Oh honey, read the writing on the wall. You want another kid and can't have one the old fashioned way? Adopt for Christ's sake! Do you know how many orphans there are on this planet looking for homes? 

Céline reeks of the narcissistic, bourgeois desire to have your own, genetically similar progeny. To which I say: get a life. If it ain't happenin', it ain't happenin'. Move on and stop boring us with your self-inflicted sob stories. 

Speaking of self-inflicted sob stories, I saw a brief interview with Jennifer Aniston on Access Hollywood last night. She's trying WAY too hard to look all Zen. I don't buy it for one second. She's a total poseur. 

I've seen laid-back, contented people. She's not one of them. She thinks she is but she isn't. Jen's in Mexico with a bevy of her friends celebrating her 41st birthday.

Tonight, Access will have a story on the security detail to keep the paparazzi away from Jen's little birthday pow-wow. Well f*ck me. She just invited TV cameras to her little shin-dig, and she's looking for privacy? I call bullshit. And did you see the picture in the top right-hand corner of that People mag cover, beside Céline? 

Oh! It's "exclusive photos" of Jen's birthday party! These celebrities. They tire me with their hypocrisy. Then again, if they weren't such hypocrites, I'd have nothing to write about.

Speaking of hypocrisy, now has a photo and story of Angelina visiting a Haitian hospital. Well-timed? Oui. There's no denying Haiti needs help. Don't get me wrong. I have a heart. But this is a savvy media tactic on the part of Brangelina. To divert attention from the idea of them splitting up. 

You can never read/watch celebrity news and take it at face value. There is always a reason, a plan, a PR scheme to unearth. Kind of almost makes you feel sorry for them. Almost...

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