Wednesday, February 17, 2010

"Official" Sponsors of the Olympic Games

I'm noticing a funny thing during my Olympics viewing. Every product being advertised is claiming to be the "official" something or other of the Olympic Games. Purolator - the official delivery service; Chevrolet - the official car; Visa - the official credit card; Panasonic - the official television, etc... 

Of course, I'm aware these companies have paid big bucks for this type of visibility during the Games, and their dollars are key to running such a large scale event.

Considering there are thousands of athletes, not to mention media, organizers, spectators, volunteers, etc.. converging in one general area for 17 days, there are a few items which, although not particularly glamorous, may certainly be necessary. 

The companies listed below should seriously consider sponsoring future Olympic Games since they would be a veritable gold mine for these products.

Tampax - the official tampon (do female athletes still menstruate?)

Charmin - the official toilet paper (good for all, obviously)

Trojan - the official condom (for snowboarders and groupies)

K.Y - the official personal lubricant (for the lugers - faster, faster...)

Clearblue - the official pregnancy test (for all underage Chinese competitors)

Canesten - the official yeast infection treatment (yeast is for bread, not burgers)

Imodium - the official diarrhea treatment (for all athletes in judged events - we shit for you)

Preparation H - the official hemorrhoids cream (for Eastern European cross-country coaches)

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