Thursday, February 18, 2010

Defiling Oscar

On occasion, there are statements that are so preposterous, so improbable, they leave me in a state of disbelief, such as this one uttered by Jessica Simpson, in a recent interview with Allure magazine: "I will never do nudity... I don't care if I frickin' could get an Oscar for it, I'm not going to do it." 

Do you see what's wrong with this statement? Jessica Simpson and Oscar are two mutually exclusive things. They can never be thought of as going together, ever. EVER. 

Is Jessica so delusional as to think she has anywhere near the amount of talent it takes to win an Oscar? Bitch, please. As my boyfriend so aptly put it, the only reason anyone is remotely interested in Jessica is because of her physical endowments. The truth is, she ain't got much else to offer. 

Jessica is a faux celebrity, a fame whore. She has no discernible talent, and obviously lacks intellect. Her forays into acting so far have failed miserably because she can't act. Big mystery there. The only train Jessica's riding on is her good looks. Her dumb ass comments are only  entertaining because they're so freakin' moronic. 

Jessica also dated John Mayer, king of douchebaggery. Frankly, anyone who dates John Mayer is an idiot. Yes, that means you Jen. And you dated him after he dated Simpleminded Simpson. Was it not obvious? Hang your head in shame, girl! 

Jessica also claims the following: " I don't think people deserve to see what's under my clothing. That's only for my next husband--ha-ha-ha." Funny considering her latest claim to fame is having been douchebag's "sexual napalm".

Is there such a lack of interesting people out there that magazines have to resort to featuring vapid, pulchritudinous plebeians?

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